My psychiatrist told me I was crazy. I told him I want a ______ opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was _______ home.
I'm so ____, my father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When my parents got ________, there was a custody fight over me. Nobody showed up.
I once went out with this wild girl. She made ______ toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
My wife has to be the worst ____. Her specialty is indigestion.
One year they asked me to be the poster boy. For _____ control.
I haven't spoken to my ____ in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
My cousin is gay. I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the _____ section.
I was so poor growing up. If I wasn't born a ___, I'd have nothing to play with.
I found there's only one way to look thin: hang out with ___ people.
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a _______ of me
Joke
Word
I _____ too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I'm getting old. Now I'm taking Viagra and drinking _____ juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Boy, is my wife stupid. It takes her an hour and a half to watch '__ Minutes'.
My wife is a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a ___.
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the _____.
My sex life is terrible; my wife put a ______ over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the _____. She bent over.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a _____.
I looked up my family ____ and found out I was the sap.
I met the Surgeon General. He offered me a _________.
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray AFTER we ___.
I went to a discount _______ parlor. It was self service.
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