Television Quiz / Strangers with Candy Characters

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Can you name the characters from 'Strangers with Candy'?

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DescriptionCharacter NameQuote
Inept history teacher; secretly dreams of being a rock star; carries on a secret love affair with a colleague'Following his violent revolution, Gandhi was devoured by his followers.'
Former grief counselor who now enacts crimes for television; comes to Flatpoint High to investigate racist graffiti'You're a racist.'
Female high school student; main character's best girl friend and occasional object of her lust; nickname: 'Coppertop'/'Redheaded Spitfire''You better 86 the 69 talk, Jer.'
Leader of a messianic cult; gets so fed up with the main character that he forces her to leave the group'I'm so impressed with your progress that I want you to start your own compound...on the other side of the world.'
Male high school student; innocent and sweet to the main character, even though she's always mean to him; Filipino'There are some bad seeds in this school who are growing into weeds and infesting the healthy plants that are the good students.'
Forty-something ex-junkie/prostitute who goes back to high school'I got somethin' to saaaaaay!'
Rock musician; has a career built on shocking behavior and vulgar lyrics; is 'chronic!''In the United Hates of A-scarica/They censor my words and it ain't fair-ica'
White high school student who has alcoholic parents and performs the lead male role in 'A Raisin in the Sun''That's too bad, Jerri. I thought you had the courage to judge other people by their faults; I guess I was WRONG.'
Popular female high school student who dies after taking a homemade drug called 'glint''I'm a bumblebee. I'm a bee, and I need to get back to the hive.'
Flamboyant male high school student; is beaten up by school jocks constantly'I am SUPER JAZZED!'
School secretary at Flatpoint High'Dreams are a great thing, but y'know something? They take a lot of energy.'
DescriptionCharacter NameQuote
Flatpoint High principal; has a gambling problem and lives with his parents; a ladies' man'Educate yourself to THIS reality.'
High school jock who constantly butts heads with his older stepsister'Let's go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back.'
Middle-aged policeman who goes undercover at Flatpoint High as a student'Hey, you know where I'd be able to buy some big, fat doobies?'
Music teacher; is constantly attracted to his female students; former heroin addict'Charlie Parker once said to me: '[Name], shut up and give me some heroin.''
Bus driver who doesn't actually know how to drive'I remember the first day I ever sat behind that, uh, the roundy thing--the wheel, right, the wheel.'
Main character's father; always shown frozen in mid-motion; gets mauled to death by a pack of dogs'*silence*'
Gym teacher; track team coach; preaches abstinence; works in a pizza parlor'Jerri...what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?'
Narcissistic art teacher; pacifist; carries on a secret love affair with a colleague'It may be an ugly world, but at least I have a beautiful face!'
Meat man; has two children, Chuck and Patty; goes temporarily insane and coats a house with cheese'The dairy smell masks my scent. Makes it hard for 'em to find me.'
Middle-aged woman who struggles with alcoholism and her unwanted stepdaughter'Oh Jerri, I didn't know you were coming home this early. We would've left sooner.'

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