Entertainment Quiz / Mitch Hedberg Jokes

Random Entertainment or Word Play Quiz

Results

Quiz Updated Feb 16, 2012

Also try: Quotable Comedians
Challenge
Share
Tweet
Embed
Score 0/44 Timer 12:00
1 Play Today
Joke Missing Word(s) % Correct
This shirt is dry-clean only. Which means it's _____.dirty
62.2%
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a ____.cake
57.4%
If carrots got you drunk, _______ would be ****ed up.rabbits
55.9%
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have _____.bread
55.5%
The thing that's depressing about ______ is, no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once...they're ****ing relentless!tennis
55.3%
A ______ is like a pancake with a syrup trap.waffle
54.7%
...You would never see an 'Escalator temporarily out-of-order' sign. Just 'Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the ___________.'convenience
52.2%
At the end of my letters, I like to write '__: this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.'P.S.
44.1%
My ____ ______ died because I did not pretend to water them.fake plants
43.4%
I say the word '_______' way too much. I need to change it and use a word that's different but means the same. 'Mitch, do you like submarine sandwiches?' 'All-encompassingly!'totally
43.2%
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, 'No, but I want a _______ ______ later, so...yeah.'regular banana
42.4%
13 is an unlucky number. If 13’s unlucky, then so should the letter B be, 'cause B looks like a scrunched-together 13. 'Hello, what is your name?' '___.' 'Get the **** away!'Bob
42%
I think Pringles' original intention was to make ______ _____.tennis balls
41.5%
On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a ______, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that ______?banana
40.7%
__________ is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having...alcoholism
39.6%
I order the ____ ________ all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.club sandwich
38.7%
I think a __________ is a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens.rotisserie
38.7%
I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a ______.jacket
37.5%
I saw this ____, he was eating grapes. It's like, 'Dude, you have to wait.'wino
36.3%
...It takes forever to bake a ______ in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows? potato
36%
I like _______ ________ 'cause snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes, I will drop it, so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.vending machines
35.9%
I got a ________ ____, 'cause I wanna win some lunches. That's what my ________ ____ says: 'Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner.'business card
35.9%
Joke Missing Word(s) % Correct
In Venice, if you're not book smart but you do know what's going on, you are '_____ _____.'canal smart
31.9%
____ is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.rice
31.5%
...I'll just give you the money, and you give me the _____...end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.donut
30.5%
If you have ________, don't use artificial sweetener, 'cause you'll get a fake cavity.dentures
29.4%
This one guy said, 'Look at that girl's butt! She has a nice butt.' I said, 'Yeah, I bet she can ___ ____ excellently.'sit down
29%
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a __________.semicircle
27%
A burrito is a ________ ___ for ground beef.sleeping bag
26.2%
I got an ___ ____. Them fellas didn't grow ****!ant farm
25.6%
I'm against _________, but I don't know how to show it.picketing
25.5%
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. 'Say man, can I turn on the radio? [...] Boy, you really like ____.' Tide
25.4%
...I didn't buy [Ritz crackers] because they're little edible ______! You've got no faith in the product itself!plates
23.5%
My apartment is infested with _____ _____. It's the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches...koala bears
23.1%
A _______ ____ is the ultimate stocking stuffer.severed foot
22.6%
Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, 'I can't ____, get this away from me!' knit
21.5%
...Bush, search party of three! You can eat once you find the ________.Dufrenes
20.6%
...An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, ____ on top.hope
19.6%
I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with ___. 555
19.5%
I wish I could play ______ ______ now; I'd kick some ****in' ***.Little League
16.1%
__________ _______ is macaroni and cheese for adults.fettuccine alfredo
14.8%
I had a stick of ________ gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.Carefree
8.2%
...I can still see my dad with the apron on. 'You better flip that _____, Dad--you know how I like it!'Frito
7.7%
I wish they made ______ cologne, because that stuff smells good. 'What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!'fajita
7.7%
 
Number % Answered
44 (all)
1.1%
39-43
3.3%
34-38
5.8%
29-33
7.1%
24-28
8.8%
19-23
9.9%
14-18
11.2%
9-13
11.4%
4-8
14.3%
1-3
27.1%

You're not logged in!

Compare scores with friends on all Sporcle quizzes.
Sign Up with Email
OR
Log In

You Might Also Like...

Show Comments

Extras


Your Account Isn't Verified!

In order to create a playlist on Sporcle, you need to verify the email address you used during registration. Go to your Sporcle Settings to finish the process.