A wizarding force in my day I wanted Tom Riddle to pay But then Snape did me in And now I’m a has-been It turns out all along I was gay
The Marauders consider me weak Am I a man or a mouse? Squeak, squeak! Ratted on James and Lily I guess that was silly And now I’m a one-handed freak
On film I’m a strapping young buck In the books I walk like a duck I’m the world’s best seeker But not a great speaker And Hermy-own-ninny I’d like to date
I’ve got less than a widow’s mite My dress robes a terrible sight I play second fiddle In Potter v. Riddle But I’m sleeping with Granger tonight
Look, am I really that bad? I'm less of a jerk than my dad I played Harry's foil Just like Crabbe and Goyle I'm the number one Slytherin cad
You knew I would be in this quiz These books are about me, gee whiz Well here's a huge hint My best friend is Grint I think you can guess who this is
My hair’s pulled up tight in a bun I turn into a cat just for fun I don’t take students’ crap So sit down, shut your trap Because I’ve got a classroom to run
Limerick
Character Name
If you’re looking for evil I’m it But I really screwed up, to wit I tried to kill Harry He used love to parry I instead killed myself like a git
I thought J.K. thought I was swell She was just biding time 'til I fell She ended my life With Lestrange's thrown knife I guess I'll see Rowling in hell!
Im a redheaded dude with a ‘tude It’s my brother who really got screwed Snape blasted my ear But at least I’m still here My twin is the one who’s worm food
I have a strong urge to expound On the way I was easily downed In dueling I failed And I sailed through the Veil I should have just stayed as a hound
My spell casting skills are quite keen My library visits routine I’ve got bushy hair I’m totally square I’m the brightest witch you’ve ever seen
I live out in the woods in a hut I’m really a bit of a nut I raise dragons and skrewts I hang out with brutes And my mother’s a giant, so what?
The Prophet prints nothing but ill Of the people I quote with my quill A bug getting news Granger outed my ruse Blackmailed me and told me to chill
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