Jamie Lee Curtis can tell you that scary things happen on ___.
Things that will make you ___ like Neve Campbell.
But this is not just some ___ Movie directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans.
This is real Paranormal ___ that could mean the END of you.
In fact, you might need to ask Linda Blair to refer you to The ___ she used.
It all begins when a SOUND startles you awake at midnight in The Cabin in the ___.
The sound came from the front door...but it's not trick or treaters. Maybe it's Bram Stoker's ___.
Or The ___ from the Black Lagoon.
Or possibly the Monster, as brought to life by Boris Karloff in ___.
But no. This sound is CHILLING. It's a sound you heard in The Texas Chain ___ Massacre.
The BUZZ is cutting through the front door! You try the light but the power is OUT! You are all alone in ___ Shadows.
Good thing there's no shower in the cabin because you could be dealing with an Anthony Perkins-like ___
...who looks like a terrifying combination of Freddy Krueger from A ___ on Elm Street
...Henrietta from The ___ Dead
...and Samara from The ___.
Suddenly everything goes quiet. But hopefully, this doesn't mean it's Silent Night, ___ Night.
You glance up at your bedroom door. In the moonlight, you see REDRUM painted in blood — just like in The ___!
All at once DEAFENING BANGS rattle your bedroom door. A young girl's LAUGHTER echoes in the cabin. You haven't heard these sounds since Robert Wise's The ___ with Julie Harris.
Then the chain saw ROARS to life and starts cutting your bedroom door! You CRASH through a window, escaping outside. The ___ is thick out there, as Adrienne Barbeau can tell you.
Grotesque shapes converge on you in the murkiness. DOZENS of them. Your heart clenches as you find yourself surrounded by MORE ZOMBIES than in George Romero's Dawn of the ___!
Scurrying at the zombies' feet are MORE RATS than in ___, starring Crispin Glover.
Above the zombies are MORE CROWS than in Hitchcock's The ___!
OMG! There's Chucky from ___ Play!
Jason Voorhees from ___ the 13th!
Damien from The ___!
And even Pennywise from ___!
As Nicolas Roeg would say, Don't Look ___ because MORE SHAPES are advancing in the fog.
You race into the woods, the CREATURES in close pursuit. You burst through trees and plunge right into Lake ___ where Betty White nurtured her monstrous crocodile!
The lake bottom is rough below your feet...because it's actually the CROCODILE! It launches you into the air and you can see it's as big as the shark from Spielberg's ___.
You land on shore and feel a sharp pain in your ankle. It's BROKEN! And here come the creatures, like an ___ of Darkness.
They get closer and closer. You can't move. All seems lost. Then you hear the CHAINSAW from the cabin. It's brandished by David Cronenberg, director of The ___ with Jeff Goldblum
...The Dead ___ with Christopher Walken
...___ with Deborah Harry
...and ___ with Marilyn Chambers.
Cronenberg uses the chain saw to SLICE through all the creatures! The alien spawn from The Village of the ___
...The ___ of Frankenstein with hair just like Elsa Lanchester
...The ___ of the Opera
....the graboids from ___ with Kevin Bacon
...the cannibalistic savages from The Hills Have ___
...the spiders from ___ with Jeff Daniels
...and the giant snake from ___ starring Jennifer Lopez
With all the creatures destroyed, Cronenberg collapses unconscious from exhaustion. Unlike a horror movie, you'll live happily ever after like Disney's Beauty and the ___.
But then, before you can react, the chain saw THUNDERS to life and decapitates you like the victims of the Headless Horseman in Sleepy ___!
But don't worry! Herbert West appears from the Re-___ and brings your corpse back to life.
In the end, you survived the most heinous monsters ever put on film.
And now at last you can have a...
___ HALLOWEEN!
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