Their injured guard Rajon Rondo Spends months healing up in his condo Leaving options unsavory Jeff Green and Avery A far cry from Russell and Hondo
Turner can't grasp Coach Brown's scheme So Coach A.I. returns to his team Prickly as a cactus He'll cancel all practice 'Practice!? Practice!?' he'll scream
The league leader's Lopez in blocking D. Will is assist leader (shocking!) If this sounds like fiction Here's a safe prediction: KG leads the league in trash talking
Gay and DeMar have some game No one else here has any acclaim They do get a bonus Some scoring from Jonas I can't possibly spell his last name
Carmelo takes shots unafraid Coach Woodson has new trick plays made From the bench he'll be callin': 'Hey, Peace, hide the ball in Iman Shumpert's huge high-top fade'
Bad shots by Kidd-Gilchrist and Gordon Combined with Big Al's subpar boardin' Make their chances dire So they unretire Their owner, the great Michael Jordan
It's not quite the old glory days (Just think Unseld and Elvin Hayes) Turns out Bradley Beal Was a big draft day steal And John Wall makes all the right plays
Game wins: there used to be many Back when they had Shaq and Penny Now led by Hedo And V. Oladipo Game wins: will there be any?
Millsap and Brand add some height And Al Horford plays out of sight They win most games with ease And they certainly please The twelve fans at Philips each night
For many straight games they don't lose Right through the playoffs they cruise The win streak goes on Thanks to Wade and LeBron And the white guy with all the tattoos
Some think that this team is the best With Paul George, Roy Hibbert, and West All in their prime But come playoff time They fold to the Heat like the rest
Recall this team and LeBron's breakup? This year has a crazier shakeup They waive Irving, who Returns as Uncle Drew And starts playing games in old man makeup
The chances for this team aren't hot Even though Sanders' D helps a lot Ersan Ilyasova Will take some games over They just miss the eighth playoff spot
They snagged Jennings and signed J-Smoove Who start slow; both have lots to prove Ex-player Joe Dumars Predicts of his new stars: Within 3 months they'll find a groove
Not since champions Jordan and Pippen Has this squad played defense so grippin' Deng, Noah, and Rose Hold teams to new lows Til LeBron ends their year with a tip in
Mike Conley is named the team cap'n Gasol on D makes good things happen Alas and alack There's an unseen setback Z-Bo quits the team to start rappin'
This team once belonged to Chris Paul He left, now they're stuck in free-fall Evans, Gordon, Jrue All sink baskets it's true Too bad that there's only one ball
Yao heals! Now this team's fully powered He helps clog the lane with Dwight Howard They reign on the court With Asik in support Foes lose when they get Triple Towered
They signed Monta, but to be frank I'm not really sure where they rank It's all up to Dirk But if things don't work Cuban sells the whole team on Shark Tank
Last June was the final hurrah I predict that this year will be blah Ginobili's stats fall Danny Green hits a wall Is that Duncan or Kawhi's grandpa?
With Adelman doin' the urging And star Kevin Love now emerging Ricky R's found his niche So has N. Pekovic On the playoffs this team is converging
Their pick and roll play just won't work It fails so much, fans go berserk In one game they phone John Stockton and Malone To explain it to Favors and Burke
They once had MVP Steve Nash Now this sorry team is just trash They shoot brick after brick Get a high lott'ry pick Which their owner will then trade for cash
Gallinari, the poor fellow Has his legs in the 4th turn to Jello Lawson asks Coach Shaw 'You just saw what I saw Now can we trade back for Carmelo?'
A great steal by Westbrook, he breaks free Dunks the ball but reinjures his knee That is the reason For their subpar season But Durant wins his first MVP
Bad draft picks you want to forget McLemore? Thompson? Fredette? Now a bad trade to peeve us Tyreke for Greivis This will be a long season, I bet
The threes made by Lillard are pretty They entertain fans in Rip City Aldridge can score But the defense is poor They miss the postseason, a pity
With Redick and Dudley top-shelf As long as Chris Paul's in good health In the Finals they meet And then lose to the Heat Blake Griffin: warn your younger self
It's a good year to be this team's fan They signed Iggy, they've got a great plan They'll start Barnes or Klay The other, I say Ends up as the league's best 6th man
This team is much older than dirt Pau's 33; he's a young squirt Nash is so old it's tragic Kob' played 'longside Magic Watching them makes MY knees hurt
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The predictions below are not serious ·
When I made them, I wasn't delirious ·
It's all meant in fun ·
No offense, anyone ·
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