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I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
They're filming midgets!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Get away from her, you bitch!
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
I see dead people
Show Me the Money!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Are you not entertained?
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
You stand your ground and fight!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I have got to get me one of these!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I'm a stallion, baby!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I drink your milkshake!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Dodge this.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I fart in your general direction.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Give these people air!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
If He Dies.. He Dies
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
It's been emotional
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Time to nut up or shut up!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Sanka... you dead?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Attica! Attica!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Hey ****, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope

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