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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I drink your milkshake!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Give these people air!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
It's been emotional
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Time to nut up or shut up!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I'm a stallion, baby!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Are you not entertained?
I fart in your general direction.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Sanka... you dead?
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Get away from her, you bitch!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Dodge this.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
If He Dies.. He Dies
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Show Me the Money!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Attica! Attica!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
You stand your ground and fight!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I have got to get me one of these!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
They're filming midgets!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
I see dead people
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Let off some steam, Bennett.

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