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I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
I drink your milkshake!
Are you not entertained?
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Get away from her, you bitch!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I'm a stallion, baby!
Attica! Attica!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
You stand your ground and fight!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I see dead people
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Show Me the Money!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
If He Dies.. He Dies
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
It's been emotional
Give these people air!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I fart in your general direction.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Dodge this.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Time to nut up or shut up!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Sanka... you dead?
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
They're filming midgets!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I have got to get me one of these!

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