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I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
You stand your ground and fight!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I'm a stallion, baby!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Attica! Attica!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I fart in your general direction.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
It's been emotional
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Dodge this.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Sanka... you dead?
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I see dead people
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Show Me the Money!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I have got to get me one of these!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
If He Dies.. He Dies
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Let off some steam, Bennett.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Are you not entertained?
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
They're filming midgets!
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Time to nut up or shut up!
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Get away from her, you bitch!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I drink your milkshake!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Give these people air!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me

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