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Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
It's been emotional
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Give these people air!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
If He Dies.. He Dies
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I wish I knew how to quit you.
I drink your milkshake!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I'm a stallion, baby!
I have got to get me one of these!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
They're filming midgets!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Get away from her, you bitch!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Show Me the Money!
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I fart in your general direction.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Dodge this.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Are you not entertained?
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Hey ****, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
You stand your ground and fight!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Sanka... you dead?
I see dead people
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Time to nut up or shut up!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Attica! Attica!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.

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