Bible Character Epitaphs

Can you name the people from the Bible for whom these (fictional) epitaphs were written?

RIP - It's about time, too!
Here lies a man after God's own heart.
BRB in 3 days.
Deserted dissident prince - Even his mule left him hanging.
The ancient Incredible Hulk - Whose idea was it to put him between the building's pillars?
Killed by a stone - He was just too big to miss.
A hand popped uninvited to his party, much to his dismay.
Going to the queen's banquet was a pretty bad idea.
First recorded death in history - Murdered, no less!
His disguise didn't work; the arrow was just meant for him.

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