We took pity on him because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.
Millennium hand and shrimp.
This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the city. It could burn your head clean off.
You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.
..my father is the Emperor of Klatch and my mother is a small tray of raspberry puddings.
Shut up sergeant. You're a free troll. That's an order.
When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!
Everyone can tell me what to do, right? Just because I happen to be the woman around here I'm just supposed to accept it all, eh?
I daresay ... If anyone locked me in a dungeon, there'd be screams.
I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.
Oook!
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
There's not a lot you can say about mining. 'I mine in my mine and what's mine is mine.'
An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two.
You have the right not to injure yourself falling down the steps on the way to the cells. You have the right not to jump out of high windows.
Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself.
Somewhere, A Crime Is Happening.
And trust no-- Trust practically no-one. All right? Except trustworthy people.
I'm just going to kick some arse dear.
Has it ever occurred to you that one day wars will be fought with brains?
I don't see why everyone depends on me. I'm not dependable. Even I don't depend on me, and I'm me.
Are we taking the law into our own hands again, sarge?
Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.
I wants your body, Mrs Ogg.
All her clothes might fall off. I am sorry about this, but it appears to be a by-product of the whole business of poetry.
My mother ran away before I was born.
That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?
And I didn't bother with chapter six, because I promised my mother I'd just stick with the looting and pillaging, until I find the right girl.
It's called a shovel ... I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical.
I WAS AT A PARTY
Go ahead, bake my quiche.
Well, 'scuse me. I was jus' tryin' to save the world.
It's not a --ing harpsichord, it's a --ing virginal...One --ing string to a note instead of two! So called because it was an instrument for --ing young ladies!
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
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Quotes come from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels - The Colour of Magic to Unseen Academicals
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