Television Quiz / Lines from Jeff Dunham's TV Specials

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Can you name the characters' lines from Jeff Dunham's TV Specials?

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I had a premature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right?
Then there are the teenagers who show up at your door with a sack and no costume. They just had the munchies from smoking too much weed.
Do not drop me, Señor. I would then be José Jalapeño on the Floor.
It's 8:00 in the morning! Everyone left the house at the same damn time!
It's hot as hell outside, my skin's all dry and itchy, you put me in a sweater. Sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion.
I'm sorry. I got cranky today, 'cause we didn't have anything to eat on the bus. So do you know what I had to do? I had to phone-order Take-Out Chinese food.
He said, 'SpongeBob is not blue with a scour side'. I said, 'He is when he has an infection. Keep scrubbing.'
Well, once a month, she becomes evil. And I cannot defeat her. Our children run in terror! Our big dog cowards under the couch! Actually, I borrowed your chihuahua.
See dawg, I'm kinda like coffee. Before you experience my brown goodness, I gotta go through a big-ass white filter.
She's leaning up against the Ferris wheel, making it tilt. Sunlight glistening off her curlers, corn dog in one hand and Budweiser in the other.

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