Television Quiz / Lines from Jeff Dunham's TV Specials

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Can you name the characters' lines from Jeff Dunham's TV Specials?

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See dawg, I'm kinda like coffee. Before you experience my brown goodness, I gotta go through a big-ass white filter.
Well, once a month, she becomes evil. And I cannot defeat her. Our children run in terror! Our big dog cowards under the couch! Actually, I borrowed your chihuahua.
I'm sorry. I got cranky today, 'cause we didn't have anything to eat on the bus. So do you know what I had to do? I had to phone-order Take-Out Chinese food.
Then there are the teenagers who show up at your door with a sack and no costume. They just had the munchies from smoking too much weed.
It's 8:00 in the morning! Everyone left the house at the same damn time!
I had a premature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right?
Do not drop me, Señor. I would then be José Jalapeño on the Floor.
She's leaning up against the Ferris wheel, making it tilt. Sunlight glistening off her curlers, corn dog in one hand and Budweiser in the other.
It's hot as hell outside, my skin's all dry and itchy, you put me in a sweater. Sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion.
He said, 'SpongeBob is not blue with a scour side'. I said, 'He is when he has an infection. Keep scrubbing.'

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