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Mr. President, Secretary Hamilton is on the phone, he says some whiskey distillers don't like your new tax.
Vice-President Jefferson is on the line, he'd like to talk to you about the Alien and Sedition Acts.
Mr. President, Napoleon is on the phone, he wants to sell Louisiana.
Henry Clay is on line two. He wants to declare war against Britain. Again.
Gen. Jackson is on the line. He says he thought you wanted him to invade Florida.
Mr. Clay is on the phone, he says he's throwing his support to you in the House of Representatives vote.
Mr. Crockett is on the phone. He's very angry about the Indian Removal Act.
Mr. Houston is calling. He wants to know why you're opposing Texas statehood.
Your doctor is on the phone. He says you shouldn't have talked that long. And you probably should have worn a hat.
Gen. Taylor is calling. He says it's war with Mexico after all.
Mr. Wills is on line two. He'd like you to speak at the consecration ceremony in Gettysburg.
Chief Justice Chase is on the phone. He says that you've been impeached.
Mr. Hayden is calling. He wanted to personally thank you for the Yellowstone dedication.
Lucy's on the phone. She says she supports your decision to ban alcohol from the White House.
The decorators are calling. They'd like to know if you want everything just like it was four years ago..
Mr. Edison called earlier. He'd like to know when they start running electric wires in the residence.
Mr. Lee is on line three. He says they're rioting in Havana and you should send the Maine.
Mr. Pinchot is calling. He'll accept your appointment to head the new U.S. Forest Service.
Col. House called. He says the Senate isn't going to accept League of Nations membership.
Secretary Fall called. He said the Executive Order on the teapot dome petroleum formation is ready for you to sign.
Secretary Kellogg is on line one. He says the train is ready to take you to the Pan American Conference in Havana.
Secretary Mellon is calling. He says there's been a huge crash on the stock market.
Secretary Knox is calling. He says its urgent- Pearl Harbor is under attack.
Secretary Stimson is on line four. The bombs are ready.
Secretary Seaton called. The Hawaii admission act is ready to sign.
Director Dulles is on the red line. The Cuban invasion is ready to go.
Speaker McCormack is on line one. The Civil Rights Act is going to pass.
Mr. President, the moon is calling. Cmdr. Armstrong would like to speak with you.
A.G. Saxbe called earlier. The Nixon pardon has been drawn up for your review.
Mr. Cronkite called. He'd like to interview you about the Iran hostage sanctions.
Mr. Gorbachev is on the red phone. He doesn't want to tear down that wall.
Mr. Miyazawa is on line three. He wants you to pay his dry cleaning bill.
Ms. Lewinsky is on line one. Ms. Tripp is recording on line three.
Mr. Hussein is on your cell phone. He says he's sorry about trying to have your father killed.
Chief Justice Roberts is calling. He says it's actually just a tax.
