Classified Ads Through History

Can you name the historical figures who wrote the following classified ads?

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Personals
c. 390 BC
SWM seeking companion to discuss philosophy; just want to be friends, nothing serious (I wish there were a term for this kind of relationship)
 
1503
Seeking female model to sit for a portrait. Must have demure smile. Women with eyebrows need not apply.
 
1776
Due to the low supply of eligible ladies and their low demand for me, I have taken out this ad; maybe the invisible hand of fate will bring us together.
 
Employment
218 BC
Knitting services required! Must have experience making sweaters for elephants.
 
1632
In great need of legal services! Applicant must have intensive knowledge of astronomy and experience in defense against charges of heresy.
 
April 25, 1804
Looking for a knowledgeable guide for an upcoming expedition. Successful guide may be immortalized on seldom-used coinage.
 
Wanted
Dec. 20, 800
Need crown for an upcoming coronation. Holy and⁄or Roman objects preferred.
 
1508
Looking for scaffolding for an ambitious painting project. See Pope Julius II for details.
 
Sept. 17, 1787
Seeking a more perfect union. Inquire at hellodolley@colonialmail.com
 
For Sale
c. 262 BC
Metallurgical composition appraisal services available. Don't get ripped off by an unscrupulous goldsmith. Inquire at eureka@hellasmail.com
 
1695
Offering brewery consultation services. My new mathematical methods can calculate the volume of your irregularly-shaped bottles.
 
1875
Several rooms for rent. Rate: Negotiable, from each according to his ability.
 
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Last Updated: Jan 30, 2024
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