Television Quiz / Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

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Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

 Plays Quiz Updated Feb 19, 2019

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QuoteHomer or Peter
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.

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