Television Quiz / Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

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Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

Quiz Updated Apr 30, 2016

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QuoteHomer or Peter
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

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