Television / Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

Updated Apr 30, 2016

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QuoteHomer or Peter
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things!
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?

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