Television Quiz / Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

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Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

 Plays Quiz Updated Apr 30, 2016

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QuoteHomer or Peter
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

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