I got so fat, at the end of the day, you'd unhook my bra.
I can handle you preventing me from fulfilling a life long dream.
The stink eye walk by? Oh, hell no.
I'm too far gone.
You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, right?
How can you not remember my name? It rhymes with your name.
Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here.
I'm sorry, I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney's got feelings for a girl.
We're exes, we're probably due for a back slide.
You should work at a carnival.
She was a really great Laser Tag player.
We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops!
Who got cousin Daphne drunk? She is fifteen!
I'm freaking out. Is there a chance I won't be able to have kids?
How did you do it?
I can't give this suit back.
I'm pregnant.
I am Mr Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's...
Are you sure you did it right?
Hey, can I ask you a question that has plagued me for years?
Oh my god, you have a monocle. Is this real? Is this really happening?
God, your nose is bleeding like a faucet.
Of all the women in New York, you had to go out with an eight year old girl.
I can't do this. I can't stop thinking about you and Robin.
You named the rabbit?
Puffy cheeks, smudged mascara, slightly red nose. That girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless.
Hey Don, here's some breaking news.
But Santa is a good lie.
When was the last time you saw a diaper poking out of a Dolce and Gabbana suit?
You honestly believe that I, Barney Stinson, can't talk you into this?
Gotta see her ankles.
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