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Before February 14, hopeful romantics must go to the mall and sit on Cupid's lap; thankfully, kissing is not just restricted to mistletoe
On the morning of Valentine's Day, couples must search their house for chocolates and roses that may have been left by the Love Bunny
Those in search of romance wear pink clothing and/or a 'Kiss Me I'm Single' shirt; Guinness is the preferred romantic drink, instead of wine
Rather than idealizing romantic love, celebrants instead show their love for their home by planting trees and raising environmental awareness
Celebrants use this day as an excuse to solve the hardest math problem of all: finding the root of love
Single people go from door to door in costume and ask for heart shaped chocolates; those that don't provide will have their door pelted with roses
Valentine's Day is stretched over eight nights and now celebrates the miracle of that one relationship that went way longer than it should have
The holiday is celebrated with a candlelit seder dinner; all heart-shaped rolls are made unleavened
Valentine's Day is no longer just about romantic love; it's also about love of country! And fireworks! Lots of fireworks!
It has been said that if a rodent sees his shadow, your current relationship will last just six more weeks
Couples go to church and receive a heart marking on their forehead; they then give up their relationship for forty days
People re-enact the awkward first date between the Pilgrims and Native Americans and watch the Lions lose despite football season being over
Everyone gets together and writes love letters for their favorite commanders in chief; Mount Rushmore becomes a major couples hotspot
Many couples go to Times Square to watch a giant heart drop and then forget to update their checks for a few weeks
Romantics show their love for their jobs by taking the day off and barbecuing
Couples use the power of voting to determine what to do for February 14th; just like in November, the results leave everyone disappointed
German romantics celebrate a historic big wedding the only way they know how: beer and polka!
Celebrants use the day as an excuse to play pranks on their significant other; no word on whether the subsequent breakup is also a prank
People forego using Valentine's Day for their significant other; instead, it's time for a date with the woman who brought them into the world
Celebrators use February 14th to watch golf with their old man and give them the same 'I LUV U DAD' mug every year
