Television Quiz / Quote Unquote

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Can you name the show where this quote is taken??

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Top Gits Tonight!
Then I'm going to make you feel like you're a turkey fxxker
I'm going to fry this apple!
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towell
Some of these people have come from Stoke
I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will
I froze your tears and made a dagger and stabbed it in my cock
You lied to me. There is a Swansea... and other places.
You write the lyrics, who does the words?
That's a smashing blouse you're wearing!
Where were you when they built the ladder to heaven?
Well it’s my understanding that you were raped by a bum.
'All you gotta do is pretend to believe, prove to yourself its ok to deceive. Just tell your mind to lie to your soul and let the fright of god take control
I'm not a malicious woman and I will strike down the first person who says that I am.
The opposite of the brain is probably the bum. It's nowhere near as intelligent as the brain. It doesn't have to be as it only needs to make very basic calculations
£200?! I'm not trying to buy cocaine!
Well, naturally we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead.
So, you showed your penis to the man from the greeting card company.

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