Quote | Missing Words |
'Rolled on the thighs of a...' | |
'Do you like mini-Kievs?' 'Love em! But my wife's vegatarian!' 'Doesn't matter, she can have ____...' | |
I do like that toilet, it's very futuristic, isn't it? I can imagine ______ ________ taking a dump on that. | |
'Vandals got to your car again?' 'Fraid so, third time _____ , ___-________ _____' | |
'I'd love to get my hands on the bastard...' | |
'What like three men burning in a _______ going 'urgghhhh'' | |
________ _________ ________! Really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday doesn't it? | |
'The Queen is dead, long live...' | |
Idea for a programme, 'ladyshapes' with Alan Partridge. I look at the changing shape of ladies through to well toned women like Sharon Davies and... | |
Oooh scary Irish men. Would you like to recruit me? I like your _______ | |
Oh I read your article in the paper. I loved that phrase you used 'Revolution, not... | |
Hi Susan. I was a bit bored so I dismantled my _______ _________ ______ | |
No I'm a _________, I'm dressed as a _________, I'm Alan Partridge! | |
Have any of you seen the film The Crying Game? With the woman with the old tadger. I suppose the sequel will have a.... | |
It's a flex of a mini kettle, its supposed to be a _____ | |
Mmmm, a nice thick slice of... | |
Time to run yourself a big bath, it's | |
Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on... I am not driving a _____ ______ | |
You smiled, then, Lynn...Yes, you did. I can read you like a book. And not a very good book. Certainly not ‘______ ____ _____’ by Andy McNabb. | |
You know, when I used to see you in reception.... Do you know what I used to think?... Ooooh, she's nicer than ___ _____ | |
This is a romantic tribute… [band begins to play ‘Close To You’ ]… to a lovely lady over there with orange hair and a __________ __ ___ ______. | |
This is Hot Chocolate, ‘It Started With A Kiss’. [Music starts] In three minutes’ time I’ll be talking to Norfolk's _________ ________. | |
Oh, great. Nigel Rees’ _____ ____ _________ ________. This is the Koran for that after-dinner speaker. | |
Quick tip for you, Sophie... I used to be indecisive... | |
This is lovely, this. It’s sort of like an ___ ______ ______. [repeat missing] blonde [repeat last word from missing]. Quite attractive. I mean, put that down as a plus point. | |
[Looking at onion] The Onion Mystery... | |
Fire! Fire! ____ ______ ___ _____ | |
The stocks are now open for custard-pie throwing. I tell you who’d I’d like to put in the stocks _____ ________ | |
I don’t know if you are familiar with BBC commissioning policy, they are obliged to contract… you’re not even listening are you? ____ ________ | |
LYNN: How did the country show go, Alan? ALAN: __ _________ ___ | |
LYNN: Who upset you this time? ALAN: Just, people. I just hate the _________ _______ | |
BEN: What’s your favourite Beatles album then? ALAN: Tough one, I'd have to say... | |
MICHAEL: Right. And then he spies that cookbook, right. And he says “That’d be nee use to me, man”. He’s _________, man. | |
FARMER: Yeah, we bring them in for milking, and then all... ALAN: [Interrupting] Pop the ________ _________ on them? | |
But if _____ _________ goes AWOL you’re up slack alley. Now who’s it to be, me or _____ ________? [Crosses his fingers] Thank you very much indeed -- Kiss my face! | |
Lynn’s a good worker, but, I suppose she’s a bit like ____ __________. Very reliable, but she’s got a moustache. | |
Got up, walked downstairs because I am Bloody _____ | |
HUGH: Has that drink got a name? ALAN: Yeah, they're called _____________ | |
ALAN: How long have we been drinking? STEVE: About.... | |
How’s Mr. Planet of the Apes man? Oh. Is he still driving that ________ ________ | |
This chemical toilet is a Saniflow _ _ | |
Now this little babe can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed-up _________ ______. Let’s take a look... | |
Mmm. She was certainly first in the queue when God was handing out… chests, or, mammary glands. Ooh! I’d love to _____ ___ ____ __ ___ Urrgh! Sex. | |
I’ve probably got more friends than you’ve got cows. PETER: This is ridiculous. ALAN: How many cows have you got? PETER: I’ve got 100 cattle. ALAN: Yeah, I’ve got ___ frien | |
You feed ______________ to swans. | |
So book a holiday with Hamilton’s. _______ - _____ to have a good time. Cheers! | |
Idea for a programme entitled ‘Yachting Mishaps’. Some _______, some _________. | |
Hands Up! Give me all your ________ | |
You know, these are inertia reel _____ _____ | |
I tell you, it’s a good job you weren’t here five minutes ago. Listen to this. Listen, listen... '______ Lynne, for being unloyal... disloyal...' | |
...Were they really savage? Were they going, “Ooh, shall I sit there? Ooh, shall I sit there? Oooh, I am like a ______ ______ | |
MICHAEL: Aye, I could hold it up to my mouth like a Tannoy, right – ALAN:[Interrupting] A speaker system. MICHAEL: Sorry. I could just hold it there and shout “_____ ________ _ | |
He got scared and ran away... I think he saw people being blown up, all... like that, and… POLICEMAN: Do you want to know what I think? I think you've got a very _______ ________ | |
That was one of the biggest stadium bands in the world, _ _ _ _____________ | |
or those who like to tell it in a slightly wacky way, is ______ __ ___! | |
Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium barn dance at ________ ___________ | |
It must not, I repeat not, turn into an all-night _____ | |
The time is – well, let’s not get bogged down in the time again. Simply time to say, “ruddy hell, it’s _____ ______!' | |
MICHAEL: [Thick Geordie accent] Morning, Mr. Partridge. Hey, ‘War Of The Worlds’. ALAN: _____ ______? | |
I’ve had some pretty late night sessions myself, yeah. In 1976 I saw ______ at the Birmingham NEC. | |
You know, I know exactly what you mean, because a couple of weeks ago I was doing a corporate for Allied Dunbar, and afterwards a bunch of us went down to ______ _______... | |
You ever been to Ireland, Alan? ALAN: No, no. I’d love to go. AIDAN: It amazes me when people say that and it’s only forty-nine quid on a plane. ALAN: Yeah, I think... | |
Sorry about that, a couple of gremlins in the system, there. Ghosts in the machine. Perhaps a metaphor for.... | |
OK, let’s recap. We draw the gun from the holster, knock the safety catch off, there’s one in the chamber, and _____ ____ _____ | |
We have to neutralise the threat by incapacitating the target, we do that in two areas.get one there, he’s going down. If you’re near enough, you can take a head shot... | |
I don’t know why I bought this painting [Lady wearing bikini by motorbike]. It’s got a very _________ quality | |
Estate Agent: It’s on at three hundred and twenty-five thousand. Alan: Will you take three hundred and ________ ______?' | |
All this wine nonsense! You get all these wine people, don’t you? Wine this, wine that. Let’s have a bit of red, let’s have a bit of white. Ooh, that’s a snazzy bouquet. Oh | |
Youth Hosteling with.... | |
Can I just interrupt you there, Stephen, it’s time now for Alan’s Fact of the Day. Most cornflakes come from the .... | |
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