Television / amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Nobody ever says Italy...
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
QuoteCharacter
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
I'm an ugmo.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
Gotta nuke something.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
The pointy kitty took it!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Death stalks you at every turn!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.

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