amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
The pointy kitty took it!
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
I'm an ugmo.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
Death stalks you at every turn!
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Nobody ever says Italy...
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Gotta nuke something.

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