amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Nobody ever says Italy...
I'm an ugmo.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Gotta nuke something.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Death stalks you at every turn!
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
The pointy kitty took it!
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?

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