amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
QuoteCharacter
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Nobody ever says Italy...
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Gotta nuke something.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Death stalks you at every turn!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
The pointy kitty took it!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
I'm an ugmo.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!

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