amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
I'm an ugmo.
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
The pointy kitty took it!
Gotta nuke something.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Death stalks you at every turn!
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
Nobody ever says Italy...
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.

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