amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Gotta nuke something.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
The pointy kitty took it!
QuoteCharacter
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Death stalks you at every turn!
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
Nobody ever says Italy...
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I'm an ugmo.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!

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