amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
The pointy kitty took it!
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Gotta nuke something.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Nobody ever says Italy...
Death stalks you at every turn!
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
I'm an ugmo.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.

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