Television Quiz / amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
I'm an ugmo.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Gotta nuke something.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
QuoteCharacter
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Death stalks you at every turn!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Nobody ever says Italy...
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
The pointy kitty took it!
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?

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