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Kramer: Is there a tree?
Frank: Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.
George: I don't really celebrate Christmas.
Frank: George, Festivus is your heritage. It's part of who you are.
Frank: It's made from aluminum.
Frank: Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...
Jerry: Gwen! How'd you know I was here? Gwen: Kramer told me.
Frank: Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!
Frank: You, Kruger.
George: Oh, no, Sir. Festivus is all too real. And I could prove it... If I had to.
George: Festivus, Sir. And, uh, I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs.
Frank: Let's do it then! Festivus is back!
Frank: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around,
Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had, but so did another man.
Jerry: When George was growing up his father hated all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.