Television Quiz / Red Dwarf Quotes

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Can you guess which of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten, The Cat and Holly said each of these Red Dwarf quotes?

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Score 0/47 Timer 10:00
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'I can't let you go - the potato king won't let me!'
'Everybody's dead, Dave...'
'Oh, yeah? Smeg off!'
'Have you quite finished being strange?'
'We're on a mining ship three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?'
'Lister, that is my private, personal, private diary.'
'Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum!'
Kryten: 'They've taken Mr. Rimmer!' -- 'Quick! Let's get out of here before they bring him back!'
'I'm dead, I'm composed entirely of light, and I'm alone with a man who'd lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana.'
'And the moral of the story is: appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic!'
'Ace Rimmer - what a guy!'
'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!'
Red Dwarf crew member: 'Have you seen Rimmer's arm?' -- 'No, I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback.'
'There's a wise old cat saying, which I think applies in this situation. What are you talking about, dog-breath?'
'Sir, you are a smeeee... a smeeee heeee...'
'Might I suggest that from this point, the rest of this discourse is conducted by those with brains larger than a grape?'
'Everything always goes wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a Topic bar without a single hazelnut in it.'
'It turns out shoes have soles...'
'I'm gonna get you, little fishy...'
'...With an IQ of 6,000; the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.'
Holly: 'How simple do you want this?' -- 'So Lister can understand it.'
'You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.'
'I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you in three million years you'll be dead.'
'Better make myself look big!'
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy. Leave the talking to me. Dry white wine and Perrier, please.'
'It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard.'
'Mr. Flibble is very cross.'
'I just want to say... That over the years, I have come to regard you as... People... I met.'
'But, Sir - where do all the calculators go?'
Rimmer: 'Step up to Red Alert!' -- 'Sir, are you absolutely sure? it does mean changing the bulb.'
'My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.'
'Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas... Whatever.'
'I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass!'
'I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!'
'And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.'
'Look, we've all got something to bring to this discussion. The thing you should bring is silence.'
'Boys from the Dwarf...'
'Let's get out there and twat it!'
'With respect, Sir, you've got your head up your fat arse.'
'When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.'
'We have in our midst a complete smegpot.'
'Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I said supper is ready!'
'Oh, screw down my diodes and call me Frank!'
'You are a total, total... a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally 'whatever-it-is' you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.'
Rimmer: 'Only this morning, you called me a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.' -- 'In an affectionate way!'
Kryten: 'Have no others shared moments of intimacy with him?' -- 'Only one, but she's got a puncture.'

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