Television Quiz / Red Dwarf Quotes

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Can you guess which of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten, The Cat and Holly said each of these Red Dwarf quotes?

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QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you in three million years you'll be dead.'
'I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy. Leave the talking to me. Dry white wine and Perrier, please.'
'It turns out shoes have soles...'
'Ace Rimmer - what a guy!'
'We have in our midst a complete smegpot.'
Red Dwarf crew member: 'Have you seen Rimmer's arm?' -- 'No, I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback.'
'It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard.'
'There's a wise old cat saying, which I think applies in this situation. What are you talking about, dog-breath?'
Kryten: 'They've taken Mr. Rimmer!' -- 'Quick! Let's get out of here before they bring him back!'
'My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.'
'Lister, that is my private, personal, private diary.'
'I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!'
Rimmer: 'Only this morning, you called me a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.' -- 'In an affectionate way!'
'With respect, Sir, you've got your head up your fat arse.'
'Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum!'
'But, Sir - where do all the calculators go?'
'I'm dead, I'm composed entirely of light, and I'm alone with a man who'd lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana.'
'I just want to say... That over the years, I have come to regard you as... People... I met.'
'Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas... Whatever.'
'I can't let you go - the potato king won't let me!'
'Everybody's dead, Dave...'
'You are a total, total... a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally 'whatever-it-is' you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.'
'Boys from the Dwarf...'
'And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.'
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
Rimmer: 'Step up to Red Alert!' -- 'Sir, are you absolutely sure? it does mean changing the bulb.'
'When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.'
'Everything always goes wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a Topic bar without a single hazelnut in it.'
'Let's get out there and twat it!'
'Oh, yeah? Smeg off!'
'Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I said supper is ready!'
'Have you quite finished being strange?'
'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!'
'Might I suggest that from this point, the rest of this discourse is conducted by those with brains larger than a grape?'
'I'm gonna get you, little fishy...'
'Better make myself look big!'
'...With an IQ of 6,000; the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.'
'Oh, screw down my diodes and call me Frank!'
'Sir, you are a smeeee... a smeeee heeee...'
Holly: 'How simple do you want this?' -- 'So Lister can understand it.'
'And the moral of the story is: appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic!'
'You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.'
'I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass!'
'Mr. Flibble is very cross.'
'We're on a mining ship three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?'
Kryten: 'Have no others shared moments of intimacy with him?' -- 'Only one, but she's got a puncture.'
'Look, we've all got something to bring to this discussion. The thing you should bring is silence.'

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