Television Quiz / Red Dwarf Quotes

Random Television or Computer Quiz

Can you guess which of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten, The Cat and Holly said each of these Red Dwarf quotes?

Quiz not verified by Sporcle

Forced OrderWrong Answers
Score 0/47 Timer 10:00
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
Red Dwarf crew member: 'Have you seen Rimmer's arm?' -- 'No, I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback.'
Kryten: 'Have no others shared moments of intimacy with him?' -- 'Only one, but she's got a puncture.'
'Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas... Whatever.'
'It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard.'
'I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass!'
'I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you in three million years you'll be dead.'
'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!'
'There's a wise old cat saying, which I think applies in this situation. What are you talking about, dog-breath?'
'I just want to say... That over the years, I have come to regard you as... People... I met.'
'Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum!'
'Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I said supper is ready!'
'We have in our midst a complete smegpot.'
'I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!'
'Oh, screw down my diodes and call me Frank!'
'Sir, you are a smeeee... a smeeee heeee...'
'I can't let you go - the potato king won't let me!'
'And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.'
Rimmer: 'Only this morning, you called me a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.' -- 'In an affectionate way!'
'Oh, yeah? Smeg off!'
'With respect, Sir, you've got your head up your fat arse.'
'Mr. Flibble is very cross.'
'And the moral of the story is: appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic!'
'You are a total, total... a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally 'whatever-it-is' you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.'
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'But, Sir - where do all the calculators go?'
'We're on a mining ship three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?'
'When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.'
'You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.'
Rimmer: 'Step up to Red Alert!' -- 'Sir, are you absolutely sure? it does mean changing the bulb.'
Kryten: 'They've taken Mr. Rimmer!' -- 'Quick! Let's get out of here before they bring him back!'
'Boys from the Dwarf...'
'...With an IQ of 6,000; the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.'
'Ace Rimmer - what a guy!'
'I'm gonna get you, little fishy...'
'Everybody's dead, Dave...'
'Look, we've all got something to bring to this discussion. The thing you should bring is silence.'
'Have you quite finished being strange?'
'It turns out shoes have soles...'
'Might I suggest that from this point, the rest of this discourse is conducted by those with brains larger than a grape?'
'Let's get out there and twat it!'
'Lister, that is my private, personal, private diary.'
'My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.'
'I'm dead, I'm composed entirely of light, and I'm alone with a man who'd lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana.'
'Everything always goes wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a Topic bar without a single hazelnut in it.'
Holly: 'How simple do you want this?' -- 'So Lister can understand it.'
'I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy. Leave the talking to me. Dry white wine and Perrier, please.'
'Better make myself look big!'

You're not logged in!

Compare scores with friends on all Sporcle quizzes.
Sign Up with Email
Log In

You Might Also Like...

Show Comments


Top Quizzes Today

Score Distribution

Your Account Isn't Verified!

In order to create a playlist on Sporcle, you need to verify the email address you used during registration. Go to your Sporcle Settings to finish the process.