Television Quiz / Red Dwarf Quotes

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Can you guess which of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten, The Cat and Holly said each of these Red Dwarf quotes?

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QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'Boys from the Dwarf...'
'Might I suggest that from this point, the rest of this discourse is conducted by those with brains larger than a grape?'
'Oh, screw down my diodes and call me Frank!'
'Have you quite finished being strange?'
'It turns out shoes have soles...'
'Better make myself look big!'
'Everything always goes wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a Topic bar without a single hazelnut in it.'
'With respect, Sir, you've got your head up your fat arse.'
'Look, we've all got something to bring to this discussion. The thing you should bring is silence.'
'...With an IQ of 6,000; the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.'
Red Dwarf crew member: 'Have you seen Rimmer's arm?' -- 'No, I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback.'
'We have in our midst a complete smegpot.'
'Sir, you are a smeeee... a smeeee heeee...'
'Lister, that is my private, personal, private diary.'
'It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard.'
'I'm dead, I'm composed entirely of light, and I'm alone with a man who'd lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana.'
'I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass!'
'We're on a mining ship three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?'
'Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I said supper is ready!'
Kryten: 'They've taken Mr. Rimmer!' -- 'Quick! Let's get out of here before they bring him back!'
Rimmer: 'Step up to Red Alert!' -- 'Sir, are you absolutely sure? it does mean changing the bulb.'
'And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.'
'But, Sir - where do all the calculators go?'
QuoteCharacter Who Said It
'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!'
Holly: 'How simple do you want this?' -- 'So Lister can understand it.'
'And the moral of the story is: appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic!'
Kryten: 'Have no others shared moments of intimacy with him?' -- 'Only one, but she's got a puncture.'
'You are a total, total... a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally 'whatever-it-is' you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.'
'I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy. Leave the talking to me. Dry white wine and Perrier, please.'
'Oh, yeah? Smeg off!'
Rimmer: 'Only this morning, you called me a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.' -- 'In an affectionate way!'
'You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.'
'Everybody's dead, Dave...'
'Ace Rimmer - what a guy!'
'Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum!'
'I can't let you go - the potato king won't let me!'
'Mr. Flibble is very cross.'
'My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.'
'When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.'
'I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!'
'There's a wise old cat saying, which I think applies in this situation. What are you talking about, dog-breath?'
'I just want to say... That over the years, I have come to regard you as... People... I met.'
'I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you in three million years you'll be dead.'
'Let's get out there and twat it!'
'Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas... Whatever.'
'I'm gonna get you, little fishy...'

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