Blackadder Quotes Marathon

Can you complete the Blackadder quotes?

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'Baldrick, you wouldn't spot a subtle plan if it painted itself ______ and danced naked on top of a ___________, singing 'subtle plans are here again'!'
'I want the dining room table so clean, you could eat your ______ off it.'
'Madam, life without you is like a broken ______.' 'Explain...' '_________.'
'I've got a plan so cunning, you could put a ____ on it and call it a ______.'
'I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?' 'A very small _________.'
'I shall return... ________________.'
'See the little ______, see his little feet...'
'It's the most pointless book since 'How To Learn _____' was translated into _____.'
'I heard that the War started when a guy called ______ ____ shot an ostrich because he was hungry.'
'May the ________ ___ slip from your fire and burn your house down.'
''________' isn't a dirty word, Blackadder. '_______' is a dirty word, but '________' isn't.'
'Baldrick, have you any idea what irony is?' 'Yeah, it's like goldy and bronzy only it's made of ____.'
'We're in the stickiest situation since ______ the _____ ______ got stuck on a sticky bun.'
'Ah, Blackadder! Started talking to yourself, I see.' 'Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of ___________ ____________.'
'As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed _________ of _______ at Oxford University?'
'You are last in God's great chain. Unless there's an ______ around here you'd like to victimise.'
'Your head is as empty as a ______'s underpants.'
'Make a note of the word ____________. I like it. I want to use it more often in conversation.
'Hear the words I sing, war's a horrid thing, so I sing, sing, sing, ____-a-ling-a-ling...'
'If word gets out that I'm missing, five hundred girls will kill themselves, and I don't want them on my __________ - not when they ought to be on my ____!'
'God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?' 'The ______ ____, sir!'
''Yes, it is', not 'That it be'. You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I'm not a _______.'
'Nursie is a sad, insane old woman with an _____ fixation.'
'Yes, your Highness. Your very posture tells me 'here is a man of true greatness'.' 'Either that, or 'here are my ________, please kick them'.'
'May your head fall off at an _______ moment.'
'Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you into long strips and telling the prince you walked over a very sharp ______ ____ in an extremely _____ ___.'
'I was wondering if I might have the afternoon off?' 'You can have the afternoon off when you ___, not before.'
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'I'm going to pump you so full of ____ that I could sharpen you and call you a ______!'
'If I should die, think only this of me - I'll be ____ to get you!'
'I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn _____, you lucky thing.'
'I've got a plan and it's as ___ as my _____!'
'Baldrick, repeat after me: we are not at ____ to Mr. ____-__
'This is a different thing. It's ___________ and it's called wit.'
'George, who's using the ______ _____ ____ at the moment?'
'Still the striking resemblance to _____ ____ at feeding time.'
'Last person I called _______ was pregnant twenty seconds later.'
'Who would have noticed another ______ around here?'
'And what's worse is it's going on right here underneath my very nose.' 'Sir, your _________ is lovely.'
'Never, ever try to be _____ in my presence again.'
'Fortune ______ on my eiderdown once more.'
'But cross me and you'll discover that under this playful boyish _________ beats the heart of a ruthless sadistic maniac.'
'In fact, I'd like to marry you, if you weren't as unattractive as a giant ____.'
'A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the ______.'
'If a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small _____ _______.'
'I know from long experience all my men have the artistic talent of a cluster of colour-blind _________. In a ___.'
'Some over there aren't fighting, they're just lying down.' 'They're ____, my Lord.'
'Two million ______, only one Flashheart.'
'I couldn't be more petrified if a wild __________ had just come home from a hard day at the swamp and found me wearing his pyjamas, smoking his cigars and in bed with his wife.'
'Their one redeeming feature is their wallets. As capacious as an _________ _______ and just as difficult to get your hands on.'
'I am therefore leaving immediately for _____, where I intend to live as a ____.'
'We didn't receive any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot this delicious plump-breasted ______!'
'Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, belts off, ________ down, isn't life a ______?'
'They do say, Mrs. M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you'll soon discover when I stick this ________ ____ in your head.'
'I lost closer friends than 'darling Georgie' the last time I was ________.'
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'Mrs. M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I'd be trying to start a family with ________.'
'Am I pleased to see you, or did I just put a _____ in my pocket?'
'Sir, if we do happen to step on a landmine, what do we do?' 'Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant is to jump 200 feet into the air and _______ yourself over a wide area.'
'I think the phrase rhymes with _______ ___.'
'What he is trying to tell you is that you appear to be wearing a pair of devil's _________.'
'The only decent impression he can do is of a man with no ______.'
'I want to cover every inch of your gorgeous body in ______ and sneeze all over you.'
'Sorry I'm late.' 'Oh, don't worry about it, I'm sorry you're _____.'
'The doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. It has, apparently, taken him ten years.' 'Yes, well, I am a ____ ______ myself.'
'In that case, I hope you won't mind if I offer the doctor my most sincere _____________________.'
'However, I'm a busy man and I can't be bothered to punch you at the moment. Here is my ____, kindly run towards it as fast as you can.'
'I hope your mother dies in a freak _________ accident.'
'We live in an age where illness and deformity are ___________ and yet, Ploppy, you are without a doubt the most _________ individual I have ever met.'
'Once upon a time, there was a lovely little _______ called Baldrick, and it lived happily ever after.'
'For me, _____ are just like ___, tons of it about, but I never seem to get any.'
'Baldrick, in the Amazonian rain forests, there are tribes as yet untouched by civilisation who have developed more convincing _______ _______ impressions than yours.'
'The path of my life is strewn with _______ from the Devil's own _______ herd!'
'Well, bugger me with a ____ ____.'
'Oh my God! My ________ have fallen down!'
'The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. _____ has long since departed.'
'I smell something fishy, and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's _____ _______.'
'I can't see the point in the theatre. All that ___ and violence - I get enough of that at home. Except for the ___, of course.'
'Are you looking forward to the big push?' 'No, sir, I'm absolutely _________.'
'I'm going to have a _____, and no one's invited but me.'
'What I drank last night would have floored a rhinoceros.' 'If it was allergic to ________.'
'We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've moved no further than an _________ ___ with heavy shopping.'

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