Entertainment Quiz / Philosopher's Song

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Can you name the philosophers mentioned in the Bruces' Philosophers Song?

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NAME was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
NAME, NAME was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table
NAME could out-consume
NAME and
And NAME was a beery swine
Who was just as schlosched as NAME
There's nothing NAME couldn't teach you 'bout the raising of the wrist
NAME himself was permanently pissed
NAME of his own free will on half a pint of shanty was particularly ill
NAME, they say, could stick it away - half a crate of whiskey every day
NAME, NAME was a bugger for the bottle
NAME was fond of his dram
And NAME was a drunken fart - I drink therefore I am
NAME himself is particularly missed, a lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed

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