21 Angela Martin Quotes to Lick Your Cats To
You really shouldn’t lick your cats for many, many reasons. Not least of all because getting all sorts of cat hair in your mouth sounds really awful. Like licking your shirt but 20 times worse. Maybe they should have gotten Angela one of those weird rubber cat tongue things. Anyway while we deal with the cottonmouth this whole cat licking business plays out, here are some Angela quotes to plan your parties with.
Also The Office trivia: Angela Kinsey originally tried out to play Pam but instead got the role of Angela Martin.
1. “If you pray enough you can change yourself into a cat person.”
You will also have to pray you won’t get Toxoplasma Gondii.
Further Reading: What Makes Us Cat People?
2. “I don’t have a headache. I’m just preparing.”
It’s because this day is bananas.
3. “Save Bandit!”
4. “Jazz is stupid! I mean, just play the right notes!”
But isn’t that how jazz… Nevermind.
5. “Jesus is not your caterer.”
He does make bread and wine pretty well or something, though.
6. “It’s not my fault, I was exposed to Harry Potter.”
How hard would you have to try to completely avoid Harry Potter throughout your entire life at this point now?
7. “You don’t know it’s going to be okay. Don’t give him false hope.”
Someone should have told us when the calendar rolled over between 2019 and 2020–as well as 2020 and 2021.
8. “My sister and I used to be best friends, and we haven’t talked in over 16 years. Over some disagreement I don’t even remember.”
At some point it becomes easier to just continue not talking to someone than it does to repair the relationship.
Don’t listen to that advice if you don’t want to end up isolated from those you love, though.
9. “You are forcing me down here, am I not allowed to have some fun?”
10. “Then it would say ‘Lanch Party’.”
We used to have lanch parties, they mostly consisted of just eating lunch alone. Or launching microwave lunches at people. Can’t remember.
11. “Cat heaven is a beautiful place, but you don’t get there if you’re euthanized.”
Do they have cat rules about being groomed by humans and not cats?
12. “Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy. So I’m forced to go to the American Girls’ Store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.”
13. “Those lumps are cats, and those cats have names.”
One of them was named “Lumpy.”
14. “A coworker of mine is drinking caffeine while pregnant and I don’t know if I should call social services about it.”
Look, the herbal tea was in mugs with trace amounts of caffeine.
15. “No cookie.”
16. “$7,000 dollars.”
For a cat? Creed could get you a kid for that.
17. “I only weigh 82 pounds!”
Should probably see a doctor instead of getting a $7,000 cat, then.
18. “Renegade clubs are dangerous. I squashed the Weight Loss Buddy Support Group.”
Easier to say at 82 pounds.
19. “Pam is the office mattress.”
~The office mattress.
20. “Decent people everywhere will be offended.”
Some people have to be their own grandmothers.
21. “There’s a diabetes shot. Roll the insulin in your hands, don’t shake it. She gets an ACE inhibitor with her meal, put it right in front of her dish or she won’t see it because of the cataracts. Mix one capsule of omega fatty acid in with her kidney medicine. And you wanna give that to her 15 minutes after she’s eaten. And… Oh, there’s a fungal cream, because there’s an infection under her tail.”
She did get Sprinkles through countless ailments. Sounds like Sprinkles was ready to go.
More shenanigans from The Office here.