20 Pick-Up Lines that Just Might Work After Quarantine
We haven’t done a pick-up line post in a while. Partly because we’re not very good at flirting, but also because we’ve just been locked inside for the last like 6 months. Quarantine vibes and all that. But assuming you’re practicing safe habits in good faith too, what better time to work on our pick-up game than when we’re not out and about meeting people? So here are some quarantine pick-up lines. They probably still won’t work after everything opens up, won’t they?
1. Can I mask you a question?
We’ve got the icebreaker out of the way here so now you have to come up with a question. Or just smush it together with something else on this list.
2. Cough here often?
Hopefully not, because then you’ll both need a q-tip shoved inside of your skulls.
3. Your smile is just contagious.
That or you could say that their smile has left you breathless. Neither is probably in good taste.
4. I don’t need one or two ply. I just need your re-ply.
We’re 99% sure you cannot re-ply toilet paper, but sure.
5. That’s right, I wash my hands when it isn’t quarantine too.
A: Holy crap you should be washing your hands period.
B: What stage of social fever dream is it when washing your hands is considered attractive?
6. Can I ship you a drink?
Just make sure the mailman doesn’t go postal over it.
7. What if I told you I had 69 rolls of ultra-strong ultra-soft toilet paper?
Toilet paper isn’t really the new gold anymore, but it was the big meme for like a month and a half. Also, nice.
Also if you hoarded 69 rolls of toilet paper you were definitely part of the problem. Not nice.
8. Is it hot in here or is it the fever?
If it’s a fever, you’re probably just hallucinating the person asking you out. Sorry to tell you like this.
9. Quarantine and chill?
Hopefully you can keep up the Netflix and chill, because you won’t have much else to do.
10. That’s right, I’m still employed.
11. You smell nice, are you wearing Purell?
It’s the new hotness. Just make sure you don’t have any little cuts.
12. Are you an N95? Because I want you on my face.
Hopefully you’re okay with never removing stuff from your face while outside as well.
13. Is that sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
14. The libraries are closed, so I’ll check you out instead?
Things might get really weird when you start having to look at overdue fees.
15. I’ll catch you later.
Hopefully you’re catching the right stuff, though.
16. Want to get closer than just 6 feet?
17. Ready for a big stimulus package?
Still waiting for that second one that’s been tossed around for like 3 months.
18. What’s your meeting ID because I want to Zoom into your heart.
Okay, real talk. How did Skype or Hangouts drop the ball so hard on this one?
19. You can be my only social contact.
That’s indirectly saying you’re putting your date ahead of like, your mom or something. Bold play.
20. What’s someone like you doing in a place like this?
No seriously it’s quarantine. Go home.
More pick-up lines from us here.