Whether it’s Father’s Day or not, it’s always nice to celebrate dad occasionally. Maybe take him out to eat for like… Steak or something? Or a hot dog and a burger? We’re actually still trying to work out the most scientifically American dad food, but we’re pretty sure it’s going to come off a George Foreman grill. Anyway, while we figure it out, here are some funny, but extremely corny, dad jokes.
22 Corny Dad Jokes
1. Hi, HungryAndDon’tSayHiHungryI’mDad. Your name is really long.
Kid: I’m hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.
Kid: No. I’m hungry. And don’t say, “Hi hungry, I’m dad.”
You get the rest.
2. What do you call a cow with no legs?
3. My kid asked “Can I have a bookmark?”
I’m still upset. It’s been like 10 years and they still don’t know my name is Matt.
4. It doesn’t matter how far you push the envelope.
It will always remain stationary.
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d just crack each other up.
6. We don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
And then again, some people will take steps to avoid elevators…
7. We’ve invented a pencil with two erasers.
It was pretty pointless.
8. We’ve got a joke about construction. We’re still working on it.
Road work ahead? Yeah, we sure hope it does.
9. What’s brown and sticky?
Fair warning though, tree puns can be sappy.
10. How does a Rabbi make his tea?
11. If a child won’t go to bed can we find them guilty of resisting a rest?
We rest our case.
12. What do you call someone without a body and no nose?
13. We’ve been learning braille.
It’s actually super easy once you get a good feel for it.
It’s not the least spoken language though. That’s sign language.
14. Stop using beef stew to beef up your palate.
It’s not stroganoff.
15. Justice is best served cold.
If we served it any warmer it’d be just water.
16. If you see a crime at an Apple Store are you an iWitness?
They’ll call the warranty the iWitness Protection Program.
17. What has two butts and kills people for a living?
18. Nobody ever trust an atom.
They make up everything.
19. What genre are national anthems?
20. Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
They fought and 2021.
21. What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters.
Yeah, it has 2 letters.
22. What’s the worst part about eating clocks?
It’s time consuming.
Here are so more really bad dad jokes, but now you have to finish them.