22 Normal But also Self-Assertive Pam Beesly Quotes

Pam Beesly Quotes

Sometimes we just desire a sense of normalcy. Such was most of Pam’s time on The Office as she futzed about not knowing what she wanted to do with her life. Then finding out that her desires were diametrically opposed to Jim’s, and then that all got worked out. Either way, if you’re not really feeling like doing anything–but can’t bring yourself to turn on Netflix, here are a few of our favorite Pam Beesly quotes. 

You might also like: Jim Halpert Quotes

22 Normal But also Self-Assertive Pam Beesly Quotes

1. “No, cause the ice melts… And then it’s like second drink!”

We’re pretty sure she’s also feeling God in this Chili’s tonight. But that might just be the setting alcoholism.

2. “I am not great with kids. But I want to get better. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids would come talk to me.”

Like the Witch in Hansel and Gretel? Definitely like the Witch in Hansel and Gretel. Though unlike alcoholism, we’re pretty sure The Office never really explores cannibalism. It’s a bad idea anyway.

3. “They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses “star” and they go to accounting. Basically 95% of my job.”

“But I’d like to see someone put out candy for everyone.”

“…Vending machine.”

4. “I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.”

If you hate the idea of someone hating you, you probably shouldn’t agree to be on a documentary. Lots of people out there think it’s really important that you hear their opinion of you, even if you don’t know who they are.

Also Karen knows you and she still hates you, unfortunately.

5. “Who is it? Who is it, Michael? …who?

Jim’s face says it all. A bit of advice: don’t date your coworker’s parents. Otherwise you’ll get slapped in the parking lot.

6. “You know, maybe we should just have our own pregnancies and not pretend like we’re in this together.”

Pro-tip, don’t try and get involved with people’s pregnancies. Unless you’re the attending doctor or whatever. Or the baby. 

7. “I make that one copy, and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day, I’m the receptionist again.”

The worst part is liking making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. Which is nice when your new startup business is literally a closet.

8. “There’s nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, filled with sun, surf, and… uh, diligent note-taking.”

Well, someone has to be keeping minutes.

9. “Once every hour someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott.”

Okay, but what else are you supposed to do when, according to Michael, Nigerian royalty is hitting you up?

10. “So one afternoon, while walking home from school, quirky 10th grader Becky Walters finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. And she becomes…The Horse Flyer.”

Well Jim did say Pam was working on a series of young adult novels. This sounds better than what they’re making movies out of anyway.

11. “You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.”

Nobody tell her about the time they did the Dundies again at a fancy restaurant.

12. “I used to be young and cute and sorta funny and I could do those cute, little cartoons. And everyone who came through here was like, “Who’s that receptionist? I like her.” Now I’m just a fat mom.”

There’s something about identifying with the most cosmically uninteresting person, mostly because we are all cosmically uninteresting.

13. “The one thing the chore wheel doesn’t have on it, is chores.”

But it does have a tiny wheel with chores that nobody seems to notice because it is small.

14. “That’s what she said! That’s what she said!”

Technically true. Pam did say that.

15. “You see Dwight’s coffee mug? Sometimes when he’s not here, I try to throw stuff in it.

Office supplies will add a dark, nuttiness to your brew, haven’t you heard?

16. “And I can’t even take off my hat, because then I’m Hitler.”

Figuring out your workplace’s holiday traditions is pretty important if you don’t want to be Hitler for a day.

17. “The unfair thing about working in sales is that your salary is almost all commission. So if you suck at sales, you make almost no money. I guess that’s fair.”

Well Pam did admit to having both the worst sales record and the worst attitude when talking to Michael. 

18. “You can buy new stuff, but you can’t buy a new party!”

The Electric City GIF | Gfycat

And here Jim thought he could really abandon a Michael/Jan dinner party that easy.

19. “Stop drinking the water. Stop!”

Alright, well what else was Dwight going to do with a backpack that has a straw? Besides pee on the floor.

20. “But the image of his dangling… Participle… Is still burned into my eyes.”

An image that will last forever…

21. “They say if you’re nervous around someone, picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy.”

Especially if they’re your boss. 

22. “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”

We’re not sure how much of a point The Office had at the beginning. But it kinda turned out that way.

Did you like these Pam Beesly quotes? Click here to find more posts about The Office on the Sporcle Blog.