As Marvel concludes it’s largest film chapter; which it has dubbed the Infinity Saga, we’ve gone through our quote posts about the MCU. Since we make Thanos references all the time, we figured it would be a good time to have a post dedicated solely to our favorite grape-colored (and raisin chinned) supervillain. Especially since Josh Brolin himself (the guy who played Thanos) got involved with r/thanosdidnothingwrong. For those who aren’t versed in Reddit, they’re a subreddit that banned half of their users after Infinity War debuted. We’re sure this post will cost everything; but here are some of the most balanced Thanos quotes from the MCU. Which, honestly, is basically every single one of his lines.
We’d put a *spoiler warning* here, but it’s been half a year. The movie is out on Blu-ray now, and it’s not our fault anymore.
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Here Are the 18 Most Balanced Thanos Quotes
1. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
This is like the first time Marvel showed us that Thanos was actually going to show up at some point (spoken in the end credits scene of Age of Ultron). And then he didn’t do anything until Infinity War. Like no seriously, he has no other lines in the MCU until Avengers: Infinity War.
2. “Dread it, run from it, destiny always arrives all the same. And now it’s here; or should I say I am?”
If destiny was “Disney making a bazillion dollars off of comic book characters,” it certainly arrived. Multiple times over.
3. “Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.”
Balance is pretty important, like having a balanced diet (lay off the carbs and red meat), a balanced work/life balance (unless you live in America), and a balanced sleep schedule (which requires a balanced work/life).
We’re not sure if yeeting half the universe into dust is up there with cutting down on the carbs, but at least Thanos has a vision.
4. “Ah, the boyfriend.”
One day when you are a parent, you’ll remember this line and this post.
5. “A small price to pay for salvation.”
We’d like to think the price is like… A candy bar and a crisp high five. But half the universe will do we guess.
6. “It’s a simple calculus. The universe is finite, its resources finite. If life is left unchecked, life will cease to exist.”
Our math teachers were busy teaching us derivatives and integrals in calculus class. What’s all this about the universe ending?
Only works if someone asks you how much something costs. Like salvation; or your last McBurger.
8. “They called me a madman.”
We prefer really angry grape with a powerglove, but madman works too.
9. “I’m a survivor.”
Someone didn’t watch Endgame.
10. “The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”
Turning down the buy-1-get-1-free deal at the local fast food joint required a pretty strong will this morning.
11. “All that for a drop of blood?”
Imagine if Thanos also had purple blood.
12. “I hope they remember you.”
13. “You should’ve gone for the head.”
But if Thor went for the head we wouldn’t have Endgame. We also wouldn’t have any more Thanos quotes.
14. “I used the stones to destroy the stones. […] I am inevitable.”
We’d like to imagine Thanos just kinda hit them really hard together, but he probably snapped again or something.
Oh, and in case you need a complete refresher: What Are the Six Infinity Stones?
15. “Gone. Reduced to Atoms.”
Ant-Man could probably find them, or something.
16. “They’re not trying to stop something I’m going to do in our time. They’re trying to undo something I’ve already done.”
We’re not sure how accurate the statement is–it depends on how you define “I.” But we’re not gonna question a guy named the Mad Titan.
17. “You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me.”
We imagine professors like to say this a lot after midterm season ends.
18. “I don’t even know who you are.”
We imagine professors like to say this a lot when students complain about their midterms.
Quick Author’s note: Not that anyone cares, but I legit had a math instructor at university who forgot what the color “purple” was after Infinity War came out. He called it “Thanos color.”
We went through every one of Thanos’ quotes in the MCU for this. Every line. And these Thanos quotes are in chronological order.