Jack Donaghy or Michael Scott?

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Can you name the Jack Donaghy or Michael Scott?

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QuoteJack or Michael?
Here is to Mr. Iacocca and his failed experiment, the DeLorean.
AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
My mother wanted to send me to Vietnam to make a man out of me. I was twelve.
Isn't that adorable? You have to fire ten percent of your staff
Don't ever for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been...
I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their liv
Beep, beep! Ribby, ribby!
Why don't I have any other friends?
Fire her. And don't ever make me talk to a woman that old again.
Got to see how Jamaicans live. It is great. You know? They just relax. They party all the time.
I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
Well, that's not my problem. I have other things on my plate. You hear about that chemical factory explosion outside of Colorado Springs?
All right girls, break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the henhouse.
If we can put an ear on a mouse's back, we can certainly make a peacock immortal.
Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, biotch?
Hey look, it's the karate kid... the Hillary Swank version.
Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Biotch Hotline!
Why do we as a society hate old people so much?
So I am instituting prima nocta.
Don't sell your implants, Jan.
I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride.
I get my hair cut every two days. After all, your hair is your headsuit. I'm going to a party tonight honoring Robert Novack, it's being thrown by John McCain and Jack Bauer.
Oh really? That's how much time is left? Pizza?
You'd ruin an entire company just to get to me? Think of the employees, the pensions, the kittens we use to test the strength of our microwaves.
You know if you Google the phrase 'class-A moron' my name pops first now, so... step aside Randy Quaid.
QuoteJack or Michael?
My god if you're wearing a dress please keep your knees together nobody wants to see that.
Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.
I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
What happened in your childhood to make you believe people are good?
I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.
That's what she said.
I'm just trying to figure out the last time you and Jim had sex.
Nice try. Eh, we never had any cookiejars in my home because my mother never baked a silly cookies 'cause she never felt we deserved any cookies so obviously it has nothing to do w
Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
Darn liberal media. That's why I always get my news from Dick Cheney's website, Dicknews.com
Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.
You expect to get screwed by your company but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.
The Hand people are Vietnamese slave tribe and Usa is their island prison. They made your jeans. You know how they get the stitching so small?
Only if you beat them at a drinking contest. It's in their contract.
Cage matches? Yeah, they work, how could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage.
Chained to the radiator at her hotel room. It was her idea, she's an amazing woman.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. 'Oh the merry men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls' - okay, I hear it now.
In a post-apocalyptic society, what possible use would they have for you?
Guys; beef is what's for dinner. Who wants some man meat?
We need hope. We need change. We need experience. We need pens.
Alright, let me introduce you to some of the troops. Accounting front and center. Come on up here. I'd like you to meet somebody. This is the accounting dept.
We'll trick those race card lovin' wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet.
The worst thing about prison was the - was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they suck the soul out of your body,
Twentyfive super hot moms. Fifty eighth grade boys. No rules.
Well you know what? I did not want to hear about it either but I did. Now I can't stop picturing it. He leaves work, he's on his way home. WHAM, his capa is detated from his head.

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