Jack Donaghy or Michael Scott?

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Can you name the Jack Donaghy or Michael Scott?

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QuoteJack or Michael?
I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.
Only if you beat them at a drinking contest. It's in their contract.
Why don't I have any other friends?
Oh really? That's how much time is left? Pizza?
Don't sell your implants, Jan.
Hey look, it's the karate kid... the Hillary Swank version.
The Hand people are Vietnamese slave tribe and Usa is their island prison. They made your jeans. You know how they get the stitching so small?
Darn liberal media. That's why I always get my news from Dick Cheney's website, Dicknews.com
Nice try. Eh, we never had any cookiejars in my home because my mother never baked a silly cookies 'cause she never felt we deserved any cookies so obviously it has nothing to do w
If we can put an ear on a mouse's back, we can certainly make a peacock immortal.
Isn't that adorable? You have to fire ten percent of your staff
Beep, beep! Ribby, ribby!
My mother wanted to send me to Vietnam to make a man out of me. I was twelve.
Got to see how Jamaicans live. It is great. You know? They just relax. They party all the time.
Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.
You expect to get screwed by your company but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.
Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.
Cage matches? Yeah, they work, how could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage.
The worst thing about prison was the - was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they suck the soul out of your body,
I'm just trying to figure out the last time you and Jim had sex.
I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their liv
Fire her. And don't ever make me talk to a woman that old again.
All right girls, break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the henhouse.
Chained to the radiator at her hotel room. It was her idea, she's an amazing woman.
I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
QuoteJack or Michael?
I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
So I am instituting prima nocta.
Well, that's not my problem. I have other things on my plate. You hear about that chemical factory explosion outside of Colorado Springs?
Well you know what? I did not want to hear about it either but I did. Now I can't stop picturing it. He leaves work, he's on his way home. WHAM, his capa is detated from his head.
We'll trick those race card lovin' wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet.
Guys; beef is what's for dinner. Who wants some man meat?
You'd ruin an entire company just to get to me? Think of the employees, the pensions, the kittens we use to test the strength of our microwaves.
We need hope. We need change. We need experience. We need pens.
In a post-apocalyptic society, what possible use would they have for you?
That's what she said.
I get my hair cut every two days. After all, your hair is your headsuit. I'm going to a party tonight honoring Robert Novack, it's being thrown by John McCain and Jack Bauer.
You know if you Google the phrase 'class-A moron' my name pops first now, so... step aside Randy Quaid.
Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, biotch?
My god if you're wearing a dress please keep your knees together nobody wants to see that.
What happened in your childhood to make you believe people are good?
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. 'Oh the merry men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls' - okay, I hear it now.
Alright, let me introduce you to some of the troops. Accounting front and center. Come on up here. I'd like you to meet somebody. This is the accounting dept.
Here is to Mr. Iacocca and his failed experiment, the DeLorean.
I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride.
Twentyfive super hot moms. Fifty eighth grade boys. No rules.
Don't ever for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been...
Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Biotch Hotline!
Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
Why do we as a society hate old people so much?

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