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Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness
Liz: She's like a human [word]. Something everyone did at parties in 1996
Liz: I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a [word] !
Liz: Hmm, I pretty much just do whatever [word] tells me to.
Liz: I don't think the [word] has affectered me at all.
Liz: Nope, do not put a [word] in YouFace. There are definitely faces here, but they are not being treated with respect.
Liz: Sorry, I dropped it when I pretended it was my [word].
Liz: Even Rob Sussman hated me? He was the first [word] guy I ever kissed.
Liz: Wow, that is one gay [word].
Liz: Who hasn't made mistakes? I once French kissed a [word] at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old
Liz: What's the difference between your momma and a [word]? When I drop a load in the [word] it doesn't follow me around for a week.
Liz: There is an [word] picture of me on that phone.
Liz: Oh, so you're the only one in the word that's allowed to make sex mistakes? You had a threeway with [word].
Liz: Ew, Julia Roberts in a movie about eating? Give me [word] or somebody who knows what she's doing!
Liz: You cost the show a lot of money with your [word].
Liz: You know, usually everyone around here makes me feel like [word], but today, I feel like [word] in Germany.
Jack: Lemon, come here - you've got to see this. It's a video of a baby [word] sneezing. Sit here.
Jack: Dot com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is [word].
Jack: Dating is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward [word] occur.
Jack: See mother, not all [word] eat their young.
Jack: I can't have [word]. I went to Princeton.
Jack: I have two [word] and a heart, don't I?
Jack: I can't watch any more of these German [word]!
Jack: I'll tell you everything you need to know, Danny. Never do business with a friend, never be friends with a woman and lose the [word] bracelet.
Jack: Darn [word] media. That's why I always get my news from Dick Cheney's website, Dicknews.com
Jack: I'm the [word] of a dead man working at a company that no longer exists. You hear that? It's the sound of me being erased from contact lists all over the world.
Jack: Come on, Lemmon. What do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant [word].
Jack: They made your jeans. You know how they get the stitching so small? [Word].
Jack: I get it. I must treat her like the [word] treats its readers.
Jack: Only if you beat them at a [word] contest. It's in their contract.
Jack: That's how the 'Bottoms-Up' program works. I'm going to be your bottom Kenneth, and I want you to [word] me as hard as you can.
Jenna: Oh, I can play [word]. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
Jenna: You have a good heart, Kenneth. I hope you're in a [word] accident so that I can have it.
Jenna: I love [word] juice!
Jenna: You've created two Lizzes, writer Liz and performer Liz. Performers need to be [word], to be protected from the real world.
Jenna: I choose the movie. My [word] is bigger on movies.
Jenna: [Word]? What am I, 12 and at my boyfriend's frat party?
Jenna: I could go with you, be your [word].
Jenna: I don't know if you know this, but [word] only come out at night.
Jenna: Are you looking at [word]? I know a good site that's dirty without sacrificing story. It's by women, for women.
Jenna: I got a residual check for that Japanese commercial I did! Three hundred dollars! I'm going to use the money to buy us all new [word] for myself.
Jenna: You say that it's your birthday? Time to skank it up hard! Choke a cop with your [word].
Jenna: He [word] Dakota Fanning on the face!
Jenna: Kenneth is a [word]!
Jenna: Oh, no, this isn't mine. This is Sunset Blush. I wear [word].
Jenna: Relationships are like [word] Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.
Tracy: Got it. No [word].
Tracy: My genius is come alive. Like [word] when your back is turned.
Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us, while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken [word].
Tracy: A [word] hasn't given me this much trouble since Waldo went to that barber pole factory.
Tracy: This is bad, because I can't change. I'm like a chameleon: always a [word].
Tracy: Don't patronize me with your [word] slang, Liz Lemon.
Tracy: Me too! But how do I know this isn't another dream? Wait a minute. All my [word] are loose. This is real.
Tracy: Everything! My [word] to prescription lenses, my attention deficit disorder. Jack, your shoes are really shiny.
Tracy: You're going to make a [word] tonight!
Tracy: Hey Liz Lemon. Could you go away for a while? I gotta get rid of Freddie's [word].
Tracy: Regrets are for [word] and handbags.
Tracy: I'm Tracy Jordan. When I go to sleep, [word] happens in the world.
Tracy: You're blowing up like a balloon with a [word] in it.
Tracy: I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play [word].
Tracy: Kenneth, your haircut is disrespectful to [word].
Kenneth: I just don't want to disgrace the [word].
Kenneth: Can I have a copy to show Mr. Jordan? It would be like watching his own funeral, just like Tom Sawyer. That's a boy from my town. We accidentally [word] him alive.
Kenneth: Why? Because I believe that life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were [word] and I got confused.
Kenneth: I'll see you all in [word]. Have a wonderful summer.
Kenneth: Is SpongeBob SquarePants supposed to be [word]?
Kenneth: I can't handle the [word]!
Kenneth: I feel as useless as a [word] college degree.
Kenneth: Don't worry, it's just a [word] spell.
Kenneth: Miss Lemon. Your eyes look like my uncle's after he would [word] from the air conditioner.
Kenneth: Be a good listener, a giver of gifts and work that [word].
Kenneth: I don't choose Democrat or Republican because choosing is a [word]. So I just write in the Lord's name.
Kenneth: So, I guess to answer your question, I'd give [word] jars about a B.
Kenneth: I don't drink [word] sir, I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.
Kenneth: Sir, everyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had them, and she was a [word].
Kenneth: I'm a real good [word] person. I do it all the different ways
Pete: Hey, look at you! You look like fancy [word].
Pete: Boy, if this thing works it could be my ticket out. This job is starting to get to me. Lately I've been [word]. just to feel in control.
Pete: And like children, they can't be reasoned with. You just put a little [word] in their juice bottle and wait for sleep to save you.
Pete: So, first you thought he was [word] and now you think he's lazy? Liz, you *are* racist!
Pete: Remember that little secret I told you about Hornberger [word] planning?
Frank: It means the [word] in Spanish. I don't know who did it.
Frank: Hey, Tracy! Now you can tell me your filthy [word] club story!
Frank: I do know. I've watched seven different people die in [word] stations.
Frank: You are no different. You just want to know somone cares about you. Only your case is worse, because that tooth [word] could spread to your brain and kill you.
Frank: My client has no [word] of that.
Toofer: I said; time to end the charade and adjust my schedule to buy a new [word].
Toofer: Most African Americans don't understand that diabetes is caused by sleeping on your [word].
Toofer: How do you know it's not your [word]?
Cerie: I only date guys who drink [word].
Dennis: So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my [word] rights
Dennis: I knew that girl was [word]. She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian, and that crap doesn't start until college
Avery: Why does everything [word] like onions?
Avery: I love this restaurant. This is one of the few places in New York with a [word] tank.
Avery: I know, and it kills me. You think I don't want to know what Pizzarella Sbarro will be [word]?
Banks: There is no meeting today. See I convinced the board to have an emergency meeting last night. I tried to call you, but not on the [word], so you may not have heard me.
Banks: You don't tell me what kind of [word] to like!
Banks: I'm gonna make your heart [word].
Colleen: Tell him his mother's here. An' she loves him. But not in a [word] way.
Colleen: Oh, no! I'm not going in there. I go in there, I get [word] flu, I don't come out.
Colleen: Exhibit C: 16-8=8! Numbers... unlike children, don't [word].
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