Semi Pro Characters

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Can you name the Semi Pro Characters?

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In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.
Have you ever been punched in the jejunum?
Who the **** is Bambi?
Oh, did you wanna apologize for cheating on me? Twice.
Jackies teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine off the court.
No. I like to smoke when I drink.
Jackie, Love Me Sexy is the worst song I've ever heard.
No, no, Jackie, don't bite yourself!
Oh hey, great back door cut for the layup against the Amigos last Friday night man!
Corndogs, Jackie! Corndogs, for all these people!
It's written in glitter, man. Can't you just, you know, like, write me a regular-size check?
Yeah, 'cause I vote we keep them blow jobs, Jack.
Just open your eyes with your fingers, guys. It's really nice.
Yes, right on!
That's not the problem, Jackie. The problem is... we suck
How come it says 'Monix' on your jersey when your name's 'Pussy'?
You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey.

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