League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Not all angels are good.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'Yes, a baker.'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'You can't milk those.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'Balance in all things.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Suffering is magic.'

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