League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'Yes, a baker.'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'Suffering is magic.'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'Balance in all things.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Not all angels are good.'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'You can't milk those.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'

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