League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Yes, a baker.'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'You can't milk those.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'Balance in all things.'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Not all angels are good.'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'Suffering is magic.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'

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