League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Yes, a baker.'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'Not all angels are good.'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'Suffering is magic.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'You can't milk those.'
'Balance in all things.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''

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