League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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JokeChampion
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'Not all angels are good.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Yes, a baker.'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
JokeChampion
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'You can't milk those.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'Suffering is magic.'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
JokeChampion
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
JokeChampion
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'Balance in all things.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'

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