League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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JokeChampion
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Yes, a baker.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
JokeChampion
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'Not all angels are good.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'You can't milk those.'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
JokeChampion
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Balance in all things.'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'Suffering is magic.'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
JokeChampion
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'

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