League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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JokeChampion
'Suffering is magic.'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
JokeChampion
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'You can't milk those.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Balance in all things.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
JokeChampion
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'Not all angels are good.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'Yes, a baker.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
JokeChampion
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'

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