League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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JokeChampion
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
JokeChampion
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'Not all angels are good.'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Suffering is magic.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
JokeChampion
'You can't milk those.'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'Balance in all things.'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
JokeChampion
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'Yes, a baker.'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'

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