League of Legends' champions by joke

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Can you name the League of Legends champions by joke?

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'Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!'
'Jokes? I don't know any jokes.'
'If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure to know the game.'
'Come try your luck, if you think you're in my league.'
'The key to the — uhh... Huh?! That is the — uhh... What?! Urgh! Keep your hand to yourself!'
'I like my enemies two ways: dead, or about to be.'
'Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great — owwaww... My toesies.'
'My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! How does he do it?'
'What? Do I have something in my teeth?'
'No, really. Put that apple on your head.'
'Say hello to the winds of — *cough cough* *clears throat* — Oh, I don't know what came over me.'
'The whole is greater than the sum of its... parts.'
'I bet I can hit their base from here!'
'What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?'
'You wanna se how to disarm a bomb?'
'*sigh* I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.'
'Noxuuu... whoa... whoa! Dizzy.'
'Ugh, I've lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.'
'Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!'
'Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?'
'Caught between a rock... And a hard place.'
'If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.'
'Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.'
'I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.'
'Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.'
'Let's be firends forever.'
'I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?'
'Animals are lazy. We plants produce our own food *omnom*.'
'How do you like my guns: Shock and Awe!'
'Not all angels are good.'
'They come apart so easily. How do I put them back together again?'
'So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?'
'Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow — awwowawwoah.'
'Think logically for ONE SECON — CAW CAW CAWCAWCAW!'
'You can call me mistress, but only from your knees.'
'Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!'
'Imagine if I had a real weapon!'
'This is why I spend so much time sheath shopping.'
'Hey, get up. *sigh* How many times have I told you: 'No sleeping during battle!''
'The worst part about losing a blade is trying to trace back all my stabbings.'
'Size doesn't mean everything.'
'Well, a ''double rainbow'' is a pehnomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?'
'Are you sure you're not in the wrong league?'
'Don't stare directly at me for too long.'
'Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.'
'What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.'
'Ah, the tangled webs we weave...'
'Wuju... pass me that potion?'
'I have no time for nonsense.'
'I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.'
'Double rainbow? What does it mean?'
'My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.'
'I think I broke a nail. Good thing it wasn't mine.'
'Yes, a baker.'
'No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.'
'I am an artist with a sword, in more ways than one.'
'They say the key to beauty lies in grace and poise. What do you think?'
'Hmm, something's fishy.'
'Did I mention it's mating season.'
'Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh...'
'Noxians... I hate thouse guys.'
'I haven't got a brain, and soon neither will you!'
'You can't milk those.'
'Another blue ribbon for Hecarim.'
'Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'! Heheh.'
'Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.'
'Only two Jokers in the deck, and I get dealt you.'
'Let's put on our thinking caps. Hmm... Ah, I got it!'
'Time for the Dance Macca... Macah... Forget it.'
'Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!'
'When you dance with deat, lead.'
'Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?'
'All the better to eat you with my dear!'
'My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.'
'Turbo on! Uh... wuuh? *crash* Just needs a little kick start here. Hyup.'
'I could go for a twirl. Whoa, whoa, whoa!'
'Hmm, fish, fish, fish!'
'Shhh! I'm charging my laser...'
'Bandle citeh — Oops, forgot the clutch.'
'You're seriously asking a giant demon bird... for a joke?'
'If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?'
'Time flies like an arrow. Fruits fly like banana.'
'If PETA asks, this fur is fake.'
'Seriously, again?! Just drop it!'
'I put the ''goal'' in ''golem.'' That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriatelly funny.'
'You'd like some real amusement? Come closer.'
'Suffering is magic.'
'Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof.'
'Is it hot in here os is it just me?!'
'Guess what's about to hit the fan.'
'Everyone's a hero... Till you shoot off a leg or two.'
'For my next trick, I'll make their life bar disappear.'
'Hmm, I suppose you're expecting an unbearable pun.'
'The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!'
'How much you wanna bet I can whack you from one fountain to the other?'
'No matter how far it is to the top, it's still withing my grasp!'
'I got these tattoos in rune prision!'
'Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!'
'Uuugh! Bugs are gross!'
'Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!'
'Gems, gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.'
'Listen close — Huh... I have important — Argh! This is why I can't take you nice places!'
'Hey, wake up! *sigh* No dinner for you tonight.'
'Find me and a immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!'
'The worth of a man can be measured by the lenght of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.'
'Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.'
'Oh, what's that smell? Ah, it's me...'
'You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.'
'I may be bad, but I feel good...'
'Lima Oscar Lima!'
'For my next trick, I'll make you disappear.'
'Yes, they make shurikens this small!'
'Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt! Lighning bolt!'
'This dress may have been impractical.'
'When you fall, you get right back up.'
'Balance in all things.'
'Speak softly, and ride a big yeti!'
'Joke? What do you mean?'
'Let's end this quickly... *cough* I need to use the little soldier's room.'
'Sometimes I think this anchor just weights me down.'
'Shaken, not stirred.'
'Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.'
'Don't hate the player, hate the club that's smashing your face!'
'Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten *omnom*.'
'*Burp* I think a voidling just came out!'
'Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.'
'Is that a rocket in your pocket?'
'I like my weapons how I like my music: heavy and metal!'
'Summon me and you'll like the way you look. I Garen-tee it. Get it?'
'A sniper's greatest tool is precision... And good equipment.'

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