| FML | Character |
|---|
| Today, my mom and I were prancing through the meadow, having a good old time. We must have been in the same meadow as Dick Cheney. FML | |
| Today, I tried to woo this girl I like. She has a tiger. FML | |
| Today, I realized that I only have one of the really nice shoes my godmother gave me. What am I going to do with one shoe? FML | |
| Today, I ate an apple. It wasn't very good. FML | |
| Today, I thought I was going to get to finally open my restaurant, but I ended up sailing down the bayou with a firefly. FML | |
| Today, I met this really cute girl. I literally don't know how to put more than two words together. I sounded like a caveman. FML | |
| Today, I realized I'm in love with a guy. The only problem: I'm trying to make everyone think I'm a guy. FML | |
| Today, I had to play croquet. I hate croquet. FML | |
| Today, I had a really bad dream. It lasted a REALLY long time. FML | |
| | FML | Character |
|---|
| Today, I was trying to enjoy a nice pasta dinner, but this girl I took with me kept trying to steal the noodle I was eating. That's annoying. FML | |
| Today, I was only stretching the truth a little, but I ended up stretching my nose even more. FML | |
| Today, I drank a bunch of water with my friend. The water made me see pink elephants dancing around. FML | |
| Today, I had a whole bunch of children who were all kidnapped by an evil (but fashionable) lady. FML | |
| Today, I kept trying to get this guy to kiss me. I couldn't say anything, but my friends were all helping. I got no kiss. FML | |
| Today, I met this girl who seemed really nice, but she wouldn't stay out of the West Wing of my castle. FML | |
| Today, my brother told me about a little mess that my son had gotten into. I was just trampled with emotion. FML | |
| Today, I was walking through a forest when I was tripped by a tree. The tree is friends with my girlfriend. FML. | |
| Today, this snake keeps hypnotizing me. It's getting really annoying. FML | |
|
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