| Quote | Seqment |
|---|
| 'Here at our multi-billion dollar refinery in Fairbanks, we're extracting 2.5 billion barrels of crude oil each day from teenagers' faces.' | |
| 'It's 19 minutes after the hour, and now it's time for our daily feature The Astrological Hour. A quick reminder: these reports are not intended to foster belief in astrology, but | |
| '*Zzzzziippp*' | |
| 'Never before has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited!' | |
| 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please stay tuned for our next feature presentation of 'Deep Throat'' | |
| 'It's hard to believe you went to bed with a headache' | |
| ''I live ze unknown, I love ze unknown, I am ze unknown.' 'Claude, where are you living now?' 'Zat, is unknown'' | |
| (no quote obtainable) | |
| 'CHRIST! Did a cow **** in here?' | |
| 'Big Jim Slade has satisfied women throughout the world, and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln!' | |
| 'This is Butkus, Klahn's bodyguard. He is tough and ruthless. This is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur. He is rough and toothless.' | |
| | Quote | Seqment |
|---|
| 'You've just sold your last case of incense and pestered over 60 pedestrians. After a grueling day, you finally run out of leaflets.' | |
| 'Your team has just assassinated the president, can you get away?' | |
| ''I could no sooner run away from her than myself.' 'I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!' | |
| 'Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, | |
| 'Very well, then; I'd like some time to go over my briefs.' | |
| 'Well, what's our little skeptic doing today?' | |
| 'Young lady, are you familiar with the penile codes in this state?' | |
| 'She was 6 feet of black dynamite. He was a short hasidic Jew. Theirs was a love of passion.' | |
| 'Tune in next time for science series number 6: rebuilding your home.' | |
| 'It's been said that the test of a man's courage is how he performs in the face of danger. Well, in the next half hour, you're gonna meet a very unique breed of cat. The kind of ma | |
| (no quote obtainable) | |
|
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