[3F06] Mother Simpson 7x8 'You know, Lisa, I feel like I have an instant rapport with you.' '[gasps] You didn't dumb it down! You said 'rapport'!'
Suffers from crippling depression
[BABF06] Faith Off 11x11 'You're the miracle boy with the healin' hands, arr, ain't ya?' 'Nah. I don't do that anymore.' 'So I guess I'll have to see someone else about my crippling depression. Arr. Arr.'
Likes the sound of a 'speed-cocker'
[5F01] The Cartridge Family 5x9 'I don't have to be careful, I got a gun.' 'Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster...' 'Oh, yeah.' 'Bandolier.' 'Baby.' 'Silencer.' 'Mm-hmm.' 'Loudener.' 'Oh...' 'Speed-cocker.' 'Ooh, I like the sound of that!'
Needs to be stopped before they kill their father again
 Itchy and Scratchy and Marge 2x9 'Stop me before I kill my father again', sign held by Maggie at Marge's SNUH picketing outside Itchy and Scratchy Studios
Thinks 'funnest' is a word
[7F03] Bart Gets an F 2x1 'I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of Springfield!'
Would expect five bees for a quarter
[9F15] Last Exit to Springfield 4x17 'Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time.'
Gives stern lessons to nuts
[9F13] I Love Lisa 4x15 'Son, whether you want to win a girl or crack a nut, the key is persistence.' [gives up cracking a nut with the butt of his gun and shoots it] 'Let that be a lesson to the rest of you... nuts!'
Wears loafers (but not if Matt Groening has anything to say about it)
[2F31] A Star Is Burns 6x18 'Uh, hey nudnick, your shoe's untied.' 'From here, they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look.' [later that night] 'On closer inspection, these are loafers.' Groening hated 'The Critic' crossover and took his name out of the credits.
Doesn't want to be Busty Saint-Claire
[AABF09] Homer to the Max 10x13 'I don't want to be Chesty La Rue, or Busty St. Claire!' 'Fine, Hootie McBoob it is.'
Concerned about their overbite
[2F04] Bart's Girlfriend 6x7 'Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes day in, day out for the last four years?'
Quick to show up on Adam West's driveway
[9F07] Mr. Plow 4x9 'Mr. West, you said there was a job for me?' 'There was,when I called you - forty-five minutes ago...'
Lived at Dr. and Mrs. Dre Hall
[2F15] Lisa's Wedding 6x19 'Dr. and Mrs. Dre Hall', sign outside Lisa's college dorm. Lisa's wedding was on August 1st, 2010.
Stopped caring in the 80s
[4F18] In Marge We Trust 8x22 'Finally, I just stopped caring. Luckily, by then it was the eighties, and no one noticed.'
Doesn't know Lenny but is sure he's a jerk
[4F07] Hurricane Neddy 8x8 'And as for you, I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!' 'Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?'
Good at turning things on
[1F12] Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy 5x14 'Hello. Smithers. You're quite good. At turning. Me. On.' 'Um, you probably should ignore that.' Pretty high-tech video welcome message for 1994.
Smokes harmless tobacco
[1F16] Burns' Heir 5x18 Burns sabotages Greenpeace: 'Oh, no! Our boat is sinking!' 'It was I, you fools! The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy atall! [tosses a guitar away] And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco!'
Eats SweeTarts carelessly
[AABF05] Mayored to the Mob 10x9 'Comb the SweeTarts out of your beard and you're on.' 'Don't try to change me, baby.'
Lives every day in agonising pain
[2F32] 'Round Springfield 6x22 'This is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you. Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day...'
Sent Roxanne flowers
[4F06] Bart After Dark 8x5 'I hope I didn't miss the floor show.' 'Nope.' 'Is Roxanne back?' 'Yep.' 'Did she, uh, get my flowers?' 'She did.' 'Hello, Bart.' 'Hello, Principal Skinner.' 'This is the National Air and Space Museum, isn't it?'
Expects extruded poly-vinyl foam insulation
[9F05] Marge Gets a Job 4x7 'Now, do you have extruded poly-vinyl foam insulation?' 'No.' 'Good!'