I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole...So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.

What kind of a person are you?

I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.

What is a barometer, exactly?

She's got a little Marisa Tomei thing going on.

Why don't you park in a garage?

Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?

Why can't there be some things just for me? Is that so selfish?

And as punishment, I should get to sleep with Elaine.

They gave me my own personal Rascal, Jerry.

Hey George, the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp.

This pirate trend that she's come up with, Jerry, this-this is gonna be the new look for the 90's. You're gonna be the first pirate!

Kramer, these balloons aren't gonna stay filled till New Year's!

As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is nothing more than a solitary man with a messy apartment that may or may not contain a chicken.

[about Newman] Maybe he's an enigma, a mystery wrapped in a riddle.

I was spottin' those raccoons...

I'm the bad boy. I've never been the bad boy.

You kept making all the stops?

Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?

Now why would a junior high school want to screw with my head?

There's gotta be more to life than this. What gives you pleasure?

What are you starting with me for? You know this is my crazy time of year.

I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.

This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.

Maybe if he could see me with some of my black friends...