Every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not... that way.

I used to work at Abercrombie.

I don't want to work.

Where is Michael Snot?

Wow, you just dive right in.

This is so great, huh? We should do this much more often.

Bye, Ryan... He seemed nice.

Is this trip related in any way to your... birthday?

Oh, shouldn't we... I bought that specifically for Pam.

Beer me! ... hand me that water. I always say 'Beer me.'

Are you telling me that your relationship began two years ago and not in February as you previously testified to here?

First message is 'I love you'. That's from me.

If I am fired, I swear to God, every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word.

Oh my God, is that Jan?

Saboteur! Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real.

Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.

How about, Angela can keep it up on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

What was the most inspiring thing I've ever said to you?

I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl.

Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--

You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.

It was never a love contract Michael, and besides, I've already given a copy to David and it would be just as embarrassing to get it back, as I was handing it to him--

Like, when you screw something up in a really irreversible way, you 'Schruted' it. I don't know where it comes from though. Do you think it comes from Dwight Schrute?

Okay, just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell, and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil?

Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI... I know where you hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. Boom! Boom! Boom!