| Quote/Description | Caller | Portrayed By |
| 'Get down!' (usually while downloading schematics from an air duct somewhere) | |
| 'Bob & Tom USA, [name]' | |
| 'Shut up Randy' / 'I swear to God I did...' | |
| Self-absorbed owner of the Dallas Cowboys | |
| Hates mice. Loves peanuts, Kristi Lee | |
| 'Hey shooter!' / 'We just landed' | |
| Snowbird living with his wife in St. Petersburg | |
| | Quote/Description | Caller | Portrayed By |
| 'Get busy living or get busy dying' | |
| Has an alarm that sounds whenever women or sex is mentioned | |
| Hardware store owner who is alwasy dealing with the boys from screen doors | |
| 'It ain't about you!' | |
| Religious leader (always portrayed as Italian) | |
| 'I've enjoyed your [tangentially related topic] program' | |
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