Our babies would be smart and beautiful.
Season 1, Episode 1

Men do things for women without expecting sex.
Season 1, Episode 2

So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Season 1, Episode 3

Well, you did call him a 'glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.'
Season 1, Episode 4

Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.
Season 1, Episode 5

Why can't all guys be like you?
Season 1, Episode 6

You have a TV in your room. Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?
Season 1, Episode 7

What got into him?
Season 1, Episode 8

You are not Isaac Newton.
Season 1, Episode 9

Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Season 1, Episode 10

Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?
Season 1, Episode 11

In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feeding her. They take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Season 1, Episode 12

Poor choice—gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Season 1, Episode 13

Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Season 1, Episode 14

So, how do you two know each other?
Season 1, Episode 15

Well, Sheldon you are his friend. Friends give each other presents.
Season 1, Episode 16

Wait, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Season 1, Episode 17

No, I mean has he ever dated someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Season 2, Episode 1

Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy. They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinkos and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out and says Howdy
Season 2, Episode 2

I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you, I shall become very difficult to live with!
Season 2, Episode 3

He can feel sadness?
Season 2, Episode 4

I still don't see why I need a drivers license. Albert Einstein never had a drivers license.
Season 2, Episode 5

Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Season 2, Episode 6

Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Season 2, Episode 7

How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Season 2, Episode 8

*knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard?
Season 2, Episode 9

It's not a big deal.We have latex gloves.
Season 2, Episode 10

Leonard, look! Sheldon's hugging me!
Season 2, Episode 11

He's depressed, because he's pathetic and creepy and can't get girls.
Season 2, Episode 12

Leonard: Oh, he's trying to make a new friend. Penny: Well good for him.
Season 2, Episode 13

Wow, you've got a lot of money in there.
Season 2, Episode 14

What was Leonard like when he was little?
Season 2, Episode 15

You know what baffles me Sheldon?
Season 2, Episode 16

You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic, while you on the other hand, are frail and pasty.
Season 2, Episode 17

Drop the third world country act. Your father was a gynecologist and you had a houseful of servants.
Season 2, Episode 18

Penny, Let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Season 2, Episode 19

The Wolowitz coefficient?
Season 2, Episode 20

Umm... okay...if I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately manner outside Gotham City. If you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon.
Season 2, Episode 21

Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Season 2, Episode 22

It must be an emergency; everyone at the university knows that I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20.
Season 2, Episode 23

But, evolution is not opinion, it's a fact!
Season 3, Episode 1

Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Season 3, Episode 2

Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat!
Season 3, Episode 3

You want me to work with you?
Season 3, Episode 4

You know deep down inside, Howard's a nice guy.
Season 3, Episode 5

I totally had a shot.
Season 3, Episode 6

Sheldon, please, try and understand. Look, Leonard and I are in a relationship, and occasionally, we're gonna fight. But - no matter what happens between us, we'll always love you.
Season 3, Episode 7

Wait! You have to help me get into bed. 'Sheldon has to help me get into bed'. Bet you thought I'd never say that!
Season 3, Episode 8

What do you want?
Season 3, Episode 9

That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Season 3, Episode 10

I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Season 3, Episode 11

How can I go out with a woman who believes in psychics?
Season 3, Episode 12

Perhaps. Or perhaps this restaurant is now a front for organized crime. For all we know the mobster sauce actually contains chunks of deceased mobsters.
Season 3, Episode 13

Yeah, this morning he used a stick of butter as deodorant.
Season 3, Episode 14

Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Season 3, Episode 15

Would you please turn your shirt off?
Season 3, Episode 16

Sheldon tried to steal the ring so I punched him.
Season 3, Episode 17

Well, how did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Season 3, Episode 18

'Do or do not do there is only try.'
Season 3, Episode 19

Do you believe you're going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Season 3, Episode 20

I don't wanna sit by myself!
Season 3, Episode 21

Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Season 3, Episode 22

Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Season 3, Episode 23