| Quote | Character |
|---|
| Last night, I got knee walking drunk and now I am back this bar a mere seven and a half hours later, hung over... well, it's official. I have a problem. | |
| Women. You can't live with 'em. Pass the beernuts. | |
| Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy. | |
| You didnt let me finish, what I was going to say was you look like a million bucks just stampeded across your face. | |
| Cheers. Ok, wait a minute, I'll check. Is there an Ernie Pantusso here? | |
| I lost my dream job, and when I walked out of that House of Pancakes, I felt two inches tall. | |
| You think it's easy being a lousy father? | |
| I don't wanna hear the latest scores / From a bunch broadcast school boys / So get your scores from a guy like me / Who knows what it's like to have a groin injury. [Rapping] | |
| Regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. | |
| I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I'd like to see you in Hell. | |
| There is some crap up with which I will not put. | |
| Next to Sammy's life, my life has always appeared dull. Then again, next to a barnacle's life, my life has always appeared dull. | |
| Sam, everyone in this bar is on a connecting flight to beyond loony. | |
| I think I'm going to be pregant for the rest of my life, just like it said in the yearbook. | |
| You know... you know I always wanted to pop you one? Maybe this is my lucky day, huh? | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| I'm working on a novel. Going on six years now. I think I might finish it tonight. | |
| If ignorance is bliss, this is Eden. | |
| Hey Sam, speaking of bars burning down, guess what I did? | |
| It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear. | |
| Whoa, wait a minute. I resent that. I've never had trouble with a woman in ANY position. | |
| I see you all looking at my chestal area; stop it! I don't have breasts! | |
| If you can't say anything nice, say it about Diane. | |
| You are my best friend. Now what is your name? | |
| Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, 'Is this all I got?' | |
| Well, I have a question. You know how you're always talking about how you hate your life? How come you wanna make it longer? | |
| Beer? Isn't that the amber-colored, carbonated liquid? I've heard good things about it. | |
| Next thing I know I'm in a court of law where I've got to propose to you or go to jail. It's the classic American love story. | |
| You love each other, and you hate each other, and you hate yourselves for loving each other. Well, my dear friends, I want no part of it. | |
| Sam, I found an apartment... It's got everything I ever wanted... a living room and a bedroom. | |
| Sorry. We're closed. | |
|
The Simpsons 
Fresh Prince of Bel Air 
Name That Sitcom
