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'Star Wars: Episode V' Start to Finish
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When I was five, my mom told me that the fish went to the hospital, in the toilet, and it never came back. So we had a funeral for it. And I remember thinking, 'I'm a little too ol
Quick announcement! New year, new candy!
What are we talking? Skins? Acee Deucee? Bingo Bango Bongo? Sandies? Barkies? Wolf? What?
Your boyfriend is so weak he needs steroids just to watch baseball.
Do you want to make appletinis and watch ‘Sex and the City’ at my place?
And don't ride them. A lot of people try to ride them
We do safety training every year. Or after an accident. We've never made it a full year.
When Pam gets Michael's new chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.
The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots because that's what you'd have to be to own it.
I can't say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but I can assure you that it is certainly not more flammable.
It's like I used to tell my wife- I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong, and if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I'll say it
Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Did you know that gay used to mean 'happy?' When I was growing up, it meant 'lame.' And now, it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos. Homo sapiens.
Why is this so hard?... That's what she said. Oh my god, what am I saying?
You texted me. 911. Call me. All in caps. Do you know what 911 means?
I could menstruate I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus I'd be more in tune to the moon and the tides
You look like J-Lo.
We had so many smores I finally had to say, 'no more smores! No more smores!'
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