| Law | State |
| It is illegal to eat an orange in the bathtub. | |
| Biting with real teeth is considered simple assault, but biting with false teeth is aggravated assault. | |
| A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds. | |
| Selling hollow logs is forbidden. | |
| If you do not own a boat, you may be fined. | |
| It is illegal for a man to knit during fishing season. | |
| It is illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on. | |
| Every citizen is required to shower once a year. | |
| One armed piano players must perform for free. | |
| It is illegal to wash or scrub a sink. | |
| It is illegal not to drink milk. | |
| If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, automobile parking fees apply. | |
| It is illegal to cut down a cactus. | |
| Margarine may not be substituted for butter unless the customer specifically requests it. | |
| It is illegal to pretend that your parents are wealthy. | |
| It is forbidden to eat another person's hamburger. | |
| You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. | |
| It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. | |
| It is illegal to make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge. | |
| If a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, he must keep his promise. | |
| A woman may not cut her own hair without her husband's permission. | |
| It is illegal to mispronounce the word 'Arkansas'. | |
| While riding an elevator, you must fold your hands, look towards the door and not talk. | |
| Women may not appear unshaven in public. | |
| It is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera. | |
| It is illegal to paint a sparrow in order to sell it as a parakeet. | |