You tell anyone about this and I'll f'ing kill you

All right, let me be the first to say congratulations to you then.

Well why don't you give me your number

He left me with a little something called herpes.

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot

Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid?

Well, see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jacka$$.

Please be honest with me. Tell me this is the first time this has ever happened.

Hello? Yeah.

Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second-degree burns all over his body

Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one-way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh

You think I like avoiding my wife and kids

Oh, that's funny to you? You won't be laughing when someone prematurely pops in your face. It stings.

Fill it up again! Fill it up again!

Mitch. You're on the rebound.

I wasn't looking for a girl like that.

What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled.

You are beautiful. But no offense, he, he is the king.

I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?