Oscar Wilde or Frank Zappa

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Can you name the person who said each of these quotes?

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QuoteWilde/Zappa
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
So many books, so little time.
There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.
Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
QuoteWilde/Zappa
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?
Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.
The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.
No good deed goes unpunished.
It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
I am not young enough to know everything
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

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