| Description | Character |
|---|
| Protagonist awkward teenager with 'skills' and illegal ninja moves | |
| Protagonist's 32-year-old brother training to be a cage fighter | |
| New student from Mexico who runs for class president | |
| Girl getting money for college by selling Glamor Shots and homemade boondoggle key chains | |
| Uncle of characters 1 and 2 who played football back in '82 | |
| Martial arts instructor who founded '[character] Kwon Do' | |
| Relative of characters 1 and 2 that injures herself on a dirt bike | |
| | Description | Character |
|---|
| Popular girl who runs for class president | |
| Boyfriend of previous character who makes fun of Napoleon | |
| *The* best thing that's ever happened to character 2 | |
| Happy Hands member whose upper lip took like 3 hours to shade | |
| Bodybuilding wife of martial arts instructor | |
| Bully kid who wants Napoleon's tots | |
|
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