| Stereotype | US State |
| First in flight and lung cancer. | |
| Dreadlocks on caucasians. | |
| Come, we've got low incorporation fees. No seriously. Please come! | |
| Our state bird is the NASCAR. | |
| 56,000 square miles of dull. | |
| We don't have any gay cowboys, alright? OK, maybe a few gay cowboys. | |
| Thanks BP, like we didn't have enough problems. | |
| White-breds making wheat bread. | |
| Where white people music comes from. | |
| Even our Amish will fight you. | |
| A wicked lot of moose, eh? | |
| If you lived here, you'd be lazy, too. | |
| Inbred lovechild of Virginia and DC. | |
| People care about us at election time... | |
| Center of civilization to Hicksville in 20 minutes flat. | |
| World's 14th biggest city, first biggest ego. | |
| No laws, no problem. Except all the murders. | |
| Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around. | |
| Snow. I mean cocaine. We're also known for skiing. | |
| Gay Mexican boob job computer hippies that really want to direct... | |
| No seriously, we're a state! | |
| Gay marriages on maple syrup farms. | |
| The more north you go, the more south it gets. | |
| We're #1! In.... meth. | |
| Farming from the future; textbooks from 1925. | |
| | Stereotype | US State |
| 10 days tornado free! | |
| Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk. | |
| It's too cold to be sober. | |
| Like regular Mexico, but with more UFOs | |
| I'm gonna need a bigger Bible belt. | |
| Atlanta! We're kinda ashamed of the rest of it, though. | |
| Too nice not to elect douche-y governors. | |
| Great scenery, brilliant people... I'm sorry; we got Walmart? | |
| I can see seasonal depression from here. | |
| Everything is bigger, even our morons. | |
| Cereal makers, serial killers. [While using his hands to represent the shape of the state's two parts] | |
| Still accepting Confederate dollars. | |
| Look! A non-corrupt politician, for once, so far. | |
| Half hippy, half French, all upper class. | |
| Richer hippies than Oregon. | |
| Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out. | |
| Somehow even worse than South Dakota. | |
| Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans. | |
| GTL (Guidos, turnpikes and leeching off New York) | |
| Footballs, drawls, and overalls. | |
| Great schools, because there's nothing else to do. | |
| Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite: God, we're cool! | |
| Multiple homely wives. | |
| ... at least we're not North Dakota. | |
| You have to drive through us to get somewhere better. | |
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