| Bio | Character |
|---|
| Oklahoma native who graduates Walden College, becomes an ad man in NYC and then starts a computer company in Seattle | |
| Star quarterback at Walden College, back-up quarterback for the LA Rams, member of the LAPD, served in Vietnam, Desert Storm, lost a leg in Iraq | |
| Frustrated radical turned NPR host | |
| Hippie, founder of Walden Commune, former professional tanner, former lieutenant governor of American Samoa, now semi-professional nanny, and one of McFriendly's finest servers | |
| Frustrated housewife who runs away from home to join Walden Commune then go to law school, later congressional aide and Justice Department lawyer | |
| Former Washington Post reporter, now blogger | |
| Mike's ex-wife, performance artist | |
| Former Rolling Stone writer, governor of American Samoa, ambassador to China, manager of the Washington Redskins, lacky to Donald Trump and Ollie North, mayor of Al Amok, Iraq | |
| Former caretaker for the above's Colorado home, currently married to Mike's ex-wife | |
| The last orphan out of Vietnam, left MIT because it was too easy, married Mike | |
| Daughter of the Doonesburys, current MIT student | |
| Cheerleader turned 'actress,' New Age channeler, married to BD | |
| Rock star turned country star turned singer of the Great American Songbook | |
| | Bio | Character |
|---|
| Joanie and Rick's son, current CIA operative | |
| Journalist that has migrated from print to television to the Internet back to television to Twitter, learning nary a thing | |
| Former Chinese translator, Duke's former right-hand woman | |
| Chaplain at Walden, turned Walden Commune into a church | |
| A walking, talking cigarette created by Mike, now representative of Big Tobacco | |
| The late Republican congresswoman from California | |
| Mike's college lab partner who hires Mike to come to Seattle | |
| Duke's son, now a lobbyist for dictators | |
| Counselor at a veterans center who works with handicapped soldiers | |
| A conservative Republican who co-hosted an NPR show 'All Things Being Equal' with his now ex-husband Mark | |
| Former Viet Cong soldier turned UN delegate turned Nike executive | |
| San Francisco lawyer who died of AIDs in the 1990s | |
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Chat Acronyms (Common) 
3 Letter Body Parts 
Corporate Logos
