Can you name the list of movies that professional movie critic Roger Ebert lists as his least favorite?

created by sjmcclellan618
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  • Answers do not have to be guessed in order
  • Source: Roger Ebert's Most Hated
  • This list came out in 2005, so any movies after that, no matter how bad, can't have been included.
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Alleged Comedies
'We are prepared to laugh, but... what these movies do not understand is that being covered in crap is not funny.' 
'Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it.' 
'What we've got here is a waste of good electricity' 
'...does not improve on the sight of a blank screen 
'Avoids the comic possibilities of its situation and becomes just another dumb high school comedy about sex gags and prom dates.' 
'Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.' 
'African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed.' 
'An old idea expressed by Wordsworth when he spoke of the heavens lying about us in our infancy, but it did not need to be said again.' 
'I should be a good sport and go along with the joke, but the joke is not funny.' 
'What can you say about five women whose principal distinguishing characteristic is that they have different names?' 
'The only way to possibly save this film is to trim 84 minutes of it.' 
'Do I have something visceral against Adam Sandler? I hope not, but when his voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard...' 
'Deserves its title: puckered, deflated, and vinegary.' 
'It's a retread of a sitcom that ran from about 1979 to 1985, years during which there were plenty of better ways to spend my time.' 
'Run entirely from sitcom cliches and plastic lifestyles, without any reference plane to reality.' 
'Judging by their dialogue, Oliver and Emily have never read a book, or a newspaper, seen a movie, watched TV, had an idea...' 
'One of those movies that plays like an explosion down at the screenplay factory.' 
'This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.' 
Hideous Horror and Science Afflictions
'Berry looks great strutting around on the top of her furniture, surviving great falls, and hissing, but what does she think of all of this?' 
'What can a druid even do to you other than drop fast food wrappers on the lawn while worshipping trees?' 
'I wonder how he learned to speak English. Other rats in previous movies learned to heel and beg, but this is just stupid.' 
'The movie 'Ed Wood' was meant to prepare us for movies like these.' 
'You can see the ghosts with special glasses, but we never really get a good look. What this needs instead of a pause button is one for delete.' 
'You wonder why supernatural beings would have such low-tech security holes.' 
'The movie makes me feel like I'm trapped on one side of shatterproof glass, with everything I want on one side, and everything I don't on this one.' 
'A movie about furry little hand puppets with teeth, held up to salad bars by invisible puppeteers with actors screaming tons of unlikely dialogue.' 
'The owner of the ship boasts how stable it is - I wonder if those speeches were added after the filmmakers realized how phony their special effects looked.' 
'They talk like Frankie Avalon, trying to pass for hip, translated from the German.' 
'Takes place in a world where everything else has been reduced to phony movie sets where everyone talks in idiotic Pulpspeak.' 
'The only redeeming quality of this film is the heroine, played by Stacey Nelkin, who we wish had played her last scene with a head.' 
'Even an object the size of that big Wal-Mart outside Abilene would pretty much destroy everything if it crashed into Earth, if you count the parking lot.' 
'Represents an 'upgrade' to zombie movies of the 20th century, where knives suddenly make sharpening noises just by looking at them.' 
'These zombies walk like they're drunk men trying to skate through urped Slushees to the men's room.' 
'Strange that they would choose such an ungainly title when in fact the two are not working against each other, but together... even if it takes forever to understand.' 
'Hiring Travolta and Whitaker was a waste of money because they're unrecognizable under their pounds of makeup. Their generation mastered the hyperdrive but they still don't quite understand the manicure.' 
'This movie breaks the rule of Repetition of First Names, which states that if the same names are repeated in a movie more than four times, people will laugh sarcastically. I know I did.' 
'To call it an anticlimax would not only be an insult to climaxes, but to prefixes as well.' 
Sex, Romance, Music, Drama and Other Crap
'This film version imagines all the events leading up to the adultery as if they came out of Playboy Magazine in the 1600s.' 
'So ludicrous in so many ways that it deserves a sort of forlorn grandeur.' 
'Like a movie that won a free 90 minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket, grabbing pieces of a whole bunch of movies that don't work together.' 
'An Irishman named Muldoon, a doubting journalist, a Negro, a little refugee with a pet dog... It's got every stereotype in the book.' 
'A case could be made for the movie, but it would involve transforming the experience into analyzing its excruciatingly boring plot into a fable of life and death, which I will not do.' 
'The screenplay was so murky that I couldn't tell if the kids hated the Hitler Youth because they were Nazis or simply because they couldn't dance.' 
'Travolta's big dance number looks like a high-tech TV auto commercial that got sick to its stomach.' 
'What I will say here is that Elvis should have learned, after his 20 or so movies, to talk and act by now.' 
'Typists will enjoy the typing scenes that make her throw away countless copies of Page 1, but those are the only scenes they, or anyone, will like.' 
'Our attention is reduced to its lowest possible denominator, in asking will anyone, ever, make it with Jackie?' 
'Basically just one big porn shoot of Daniele Gilbert, which may be nice, but not the point of this awfully dubbed movie.' 
'Every third shot in this movie seems to be showcasing a parrot's reaction to the birds and the bees that these kids were experimenting with.' 
'These characters seem to have been created solely for the entertainment to subscribers of Teenage Nudist Weekly.' 
'Despite how everyone raves at the plot twists and rolls, I think there is less to understand here in this convoluted plot than everyone seems to think.' 
'At the end of the movie, we're back... but were we ever beyond?' 
'I think the Indian chief's daughter here was chosen purely on cup size, as she is positioned in every shot, dead center. Hopefully the next New World settlement movie will be better than this.' 
'All kinds of murky plot debris with nasal spray laced with cocaine, ghosts from the past, bizarre sex, Madonna's acting...' 
'The most sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash I have ever seen. I walked out after 2 hours of its 170 minutes of garbage.' 
'Was there honestly no one who read this screenplay and openly vomited everywhere?' 
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Roger Ebert's Most Hated List Quiz

  1. by sjmcclellan618
  • Created Feb 25, 2011 in Movies
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