Quotes and Who Said Them

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Can you name the people who said theese quotes?

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QuotePerson
'Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?'
'I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.'
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go'
'Somewhere between murder and suicide, there is a place called Merseyside'
'Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.'
'How comes Eskimos haven't turned into icy-cubes? Like, ice people? ...When they die where do they go? They can't get buried under the grass like we do.'
'My best fishing memory is about some fish that I never caught'
'If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.'
'Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?''
'Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.'
'I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with guess on it. I said, thyroid problem'
'I never said most of the things I said'
QuotePerson
'Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you'
'I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5.'
'All men are equal before fish'
'If he believes in it, he can believe. I’m not interested in what happens behind me.'
'Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?'
'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven'
'If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts'
'Obviously I'd like to improve our team. But I haven't heard anything that improves our team.'
'If you can't beat them, then what's the point in having kids?'
'You can have any colour you like, as long as it's black.'
'There's no i in celebrity'
'It's alright, I'm not going to steal your breakfast you fat prick.'

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