Miscellaneous / Quotes and Who Said Them

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Can you name the people who said theese quotes?

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'Obviously I'd like to improve our team. But I haven't heard anything that improves our team.'
'Somewhere between murder and suicide, there is a place called Merseyside'
'How comes Eskimos haven't turned into icy-cubes? Like, ice people? ...When they die where do they go? They can't get buried under the grass like we do.'
'It's alright, I'm not going to steal your breakfast you fat prick.'
'I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5.'
'If he believes in it, he can believe. I’m not interested in what happens behind me.'
'I never said most of the things I said'
'Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you'
'Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.'
'Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?'
'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven'
'My best fishing memory is about some fish that I never caught'
'If you can't beat them, then what's the point in having kids?'
'Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?'
'There's no i in celebrity'
'Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.'
'I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with guess on it. I said, thyroid problem'
'If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.'
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go'
'If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts'
'I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.'
'Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?''
'You can have any colour you like, as long as it's black.'
'All men are equal before fish'

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