Quotes and Who Said Them

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Can you name the people who said theese quotes?

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QuotePerson
'If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts'
'Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.'
'Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.'
'Somewhere between murder and suicide, there is a place called Merseyside'
'I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5.'
'I never said most of the things I said'
'If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.'
'If he believes in it, he can believe. I’m not interested in what happens behind me.'
'There's no i in celebrity'
'I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.'
'Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?''
'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven'
QuotePerson
'I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with guess on it. I said, thyroid problem'
'All men are equal before fish'
'Obviously I'd like to improve our team. But I haven't heard anything that improves our team.'
'Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?'
'How comes Eskimos haven't turned into icy-cubes? Like, ice people? ...When they die where do they go? They can't get buried under the grass like we do.'
'My best fishing memory is about some fish that I never caught'
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go'
'Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?'
'Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you'
'It's alright, I'm not going to steal your breakfast you fat prick.'
'You can have any colour you like, as long as it's black.'
'If you can't beat them, then what's the point in having kids?'

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