Music / Dost Thou Recognize the Lyrics? (Shakespeare Lyrics)

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Can you name the songs given their lyrics as if sung by Shakespeare?

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Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
Observe me now, observe me now oh, I am acquiring parchment.
Greetings, I have recently been in your acquaintance, and this is absurd, alas I present to thee my contact details, so hail thou perhaps.
The female hath fruit bottomed denim pantaloons, heavy footwear adorned with animal skin.
Goodness gracious, Rebecca, observe thy gluteus maximus
Thine attempted to force thou into rehabilitation alas I proclaimed nay, nay, nay.
Proceed, person of small stature, as if 'twere the day of thine's birth.
Somebody alert the authorities! Thine female of small stature is ablaze on the floor of the ballroom.
We discovered affection within a useless vicinity, we discovered affection within a useless vicinity.
And the entire female populace proclaimed I am rather trendy for a caucasian fellow.
All of thine dwelleth in a vessel that submerges under the ocean which is the color of the sun.
Ergo, thine become intoxicated? Ergo, thine inhale marijuana fumes? Thine art merely enjoying a merry time, regardless of those observing.
Thine had the potential to possess it all, twirling in the end of a swimming pool that is considered the opposite of shallow.
If by chance thou beest fond of it, thou should adorn it with thy golden hoop.
All the young folk with the air inflated shoes thou hast dash, hast dash, with a higher acceleration than that of my firearm.
Doth thou ever feel, similar to a satchel of the plastic variety?
Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
On occasions I will thrust my hands toward the sky, exclaiming the first and fifteenth letter of the alphabet, it is necessary to release.
Who doth thou sense thou art? Parading about leaving blemishes, accumulating thy container of cardiovascular organs.
Should thou make a discovery most bizarre within thine parish, who shall thee beckon? The eradicator of ghouls!
The temperature in this vicinity is becoming increasingly sweltering, so remove the remainder of thou's garments.
I am voluptuous and I am aware of this.
My smooth dairy product attracts all the gentlemen to the recreational field
The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance. The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance.
Gesturing with my cranium like AYE, rapidly positioning my pelvic arch like AYE.
Recently, I engaged in intercourse, and the feeling was one of delight.
Oh, inscribed within the celestial orbs, one million miles from here.
Arise in the morn feeling similar to the way Sean Coombs doth.
What amount of roads is a chap forced to stroll upon, before thou recognises his status as a gentleman?
Would you do me the honour of instructing me how to Douglas?
Lad, you hath my cardiac pulsation cantering away, striking similar to a percussion instrument and it cometh towards thee.
What thou fails to comprehend is that I would seize explosive munitions for thou, thrust my metacarpus on a scythe for thou.

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