Dost Thou Recognize the Lyrics? (Shakespeare Lyrics)

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Can you name the songs given their lyrics as if sung by Shakespeare?

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Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
Ergo, thine become intoxicated? Ergo, thine inhale marijuana fumes? Thine art merely enjoying a merry time, regardless of those observing.
Thine attempted to force thou into rehabilitation alas I proclaimed nay, nay, nay.
If by chance thou beest fond of it, thou should adorn it with thy golden hoop.
Observe me now, observe me now oh, I am acquiring parchment.
Thine had the potential to possess it all, twirling in the end of a swimming pool that is considered the opposite of shallow.
The female hath fruit bottomed denim pantaloons, heavy footwear adorned with animal skin.
The temperature in this vicinity is becoming increasingly sweltering, so remove the remainder of thou's garments.
Lad, you hath my cardiac pulsation cantering away, striking similar to a percussion instrument and it cometh towards thee.
The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance. The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance.
Doth thou ever feel, similar to a satchel of the plastic variety?
All the young folk with the air inflated shoes thou hast dash, hast dash, with a higher acceleration than that of my firearm.
Arise in the morn feeling similar to the way Sean Coombs doth.
What amount of roads is a chap forced to stroll upon, before thou recognises his status as a gentleman?
Who doth thou sense thou art? Parading about leaving blemishes, accumulating thy container of cardiovascular organs.
Would you do me the honour of instructing me how to Douglas?
Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
Greetings, I have recently been in your acquaintance, and this is absurd, alas I present to thee my contact details, so hail thou perhaps.
What thou fails to comprehend is that I would seize explosive munitions for thou, thrust my metacarpus on a scythe for thou.
Proceed, person of small stature, as if 'twere the day of thine's birth.
On occasions I will thrust my hands toward the sky, exclaiming the first and fifteenth letter of the alphabet, it is necessary to release.
All of thine dwelleth in a vessel that submerges under the ocean which is the color of the sun.
Somebody alert the authorities! Thine female of small stature is ablaze on the floor of the ballroom.
My smooth dairy product attracts all the gentlemen to the recreational field
Recently, I engaged in intercourse, and the feeling was one of delight.
Gesturing with my cranium like AYE, rapidly positioning my pelvic arch like AYE.
I am voluptuous and I am aware of this.
We discovered affection within a useless vicinity, we discovered affection within a useless vicinity.
Goodness gracious, Rebecca, observe thy gluteus maximus
And the entire female populace proclaimed I am rather trendy for a caucasian fellow.
Should thou make a discovery most bizarre within thine parish, who shall thee beckon? The eradicator of ghouls!
Oh, inscribed within the celestial orbs, one million miles from here.

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